The Loss

To cope when losing someone that you love is not that easy. Thru out my life, I’ve lost a few people who were very close to me. A person that really gave lots of impact to my life was my mom. When she passed away, I felt like I’ve lost parts of myself. It was not easy for me though but thru out times I learned how to cope with it.

Recently my father in-law has passed away. All of us were very shock and sad especially hubby. I’ve never seen him in a shock-state which had me taken aback for awhile. I didn’t know whether I should touch or hold him, or should I say something to him. The truth is I felt so helpless at that moment.

I wish I could do something to calm him down. It broke my heart to see him cry, for the loss of his father. Hubby had seen me before – the devastated state of me when I lost my mom. I’ve cried for weeks. It was difficult for me to accept the fact that I’ve no longer have a mom.

When I see my husband, I truly understand the way he feels. Though we always say and know that one day this is going to happen but when it comes to the reality, we are always never prepared for it.

Jodoh, ajal dan maut di tangan Allah. No matter how we try to avoid it, one day we have to face it. Losing someone that we love is very painful. It’s a pain that we have to endure for the rest of our life. I always tell to myself – our life journal has been written by Allah. Whatever happens is actually fated and destined for us.

The most important is how we face and handle it. On life’s most difficult days all that we can do is simply take things moment by moment.

Semoga roh ayah mertuaku dan ibuku dirahmati Allah dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang beriman. Ampunkan segala dosa mereka dan masukkan mereka ke dalam syurga. Ameen.

Mau Kerja Ka??

My hubby sometimes came back home telling about his staff at the office. How he sometimes got upset with the work and also with the attitude of the locals here. I once told him "Susah2 ambik I je ah keje dgn abang..." Hubby looked at me and asked "Are you serious? If you want, I am fine with it" Bila dia cakap macam tu.. terus dah tergugat confident tadi! Hahahhaha..

Well.. I don't think I really mean it when I said it. I was probably sounded eager when hear the salary that I'll be getting but when come to think the time that I have to spend and be away from my home - NO.. NO.. NO..

I left my career life in 2002, 9 years ago. My last job was a consultant to one of the Australian company. I was at that time at the peak of my career. It was quite a tough decision for me to make. Hubby has been posted to Miri, Sarawak and I was pregnant with Nabila at that time. I didn't have much choice left - career or family?

I of course chose my family. I was quite miserable at first. Lonely and didn't know what to do. Hubby was quite supportive by encouraging me to join the Petronita Club (bini2 org Petronas). Memang mula2 tak boleh accept culture surirumah tangga kat sana ni.. So like makcik2 dalam drama tu.. Hahahha.. but slowly I learned and adapted myself to it.

I was holding quite high position in the Petronita Club and busied with various activities. Beside that I enrolled myself in cooking classes. I was also busied with my two toddlers - Nabila & Hakeem (gave birth two years in a row), don't ask me how and why! Hahahha.. but thank God when I look at them now, I wish I got pregnant for the third one on the following year!

Anyway that's how my status of "housewife" life began. After Miri, we moved to Oman (4 years) then I was back to Malaysia. Hubby was in Khazastan, me and kids were in Malaysia. We were living separately for 2 years. Then here I am back together all of us in Oman.

It is already 9 years but I enjoy every bit of my moment. I did sometimes envy looking at my friends who are now at their high position of career but hey.. probably they too envy with my life now! I can't gain everything what I want. You win something and you also have to loose something.

Back to the question - mau kerja ka? Hmm.. sorry ye.. at the moment I don't think I want to be apart from my home, children and all the things and leisure that I am having now. Though I am in the position that probably not proud to be called off - "housewife" still I never and never regret the decision that I've made 9 years ago.

I am content with my life now and wouldn't want to change it with anything!

Why?

Last night I got a shocking news about my friend, good friend actually. Her husband got married to another one. Gosh.. I was pulled back a bit as I know both of them, the husband. I just couldn't believe that her husband could do that.

I might sound unfair to the husband but hey.. I am a woman. No woman ever wants their husband to married another person and some more bermadu pulak! Orang selalu cakap jodoh ajal maut di tangan Allah. AGREED! TOTALLY! Kalau dah ajal, memang sape tak bole tolak tapi kalau kita sendiri menempah ajal mcm naik motor ala2 mat rempit.. tu dah lari dari dasar clause tu. Then kalau bercerai.. not one sane humankind wants that to happen to his/her marriage. Tapi kalau dah partner buat hal.. violent or probably having affair - tu pun sama mcm menempah tiket untuk menamatkan jodoh.

To man it's probably something to be proud off to have 2 or more wives. The fact is I don't think any person can be THAT fair to all the wives. Mulut cakap je.. hati? Yes.. he probably being fair by allocating his precious time to the wives but deep in his heart, I am sure he favor one of them. So where is the fairness??

My cousin dah bermadu more than 15 years. I've seen her ups and downs with his husband. Dari bermadu 3 orang sampai tinggal seorang sekarang. Frankly I don't like the way her husband treated her but she herself always tells me.. "takpa lah.. nanti aku dapat payung emas" Tu semua ayat penyedap hati.. but deep inside her she's suffering. At one time she was so close like sisters with her madu and at other time macam perang dunia. I think she is now more or less just go by the flow. Let things happen by itself.

Back to my friend's story.. I really feel sorry for her. For whatever reasons that the husband could list still it is unacceptable for him to married another one especially at his age. Last night I kept wondering why and why. I've heard many of my husband's friends married to another one or divorced at this 'late' age.

Life of marriage is not that easy actually. I, myself had face lots of obstacles. Some were scared to be remembered and some were good and always be in my memory. I love my family and my marriage and wouldn't want anything happen to it. I always tell hubby, if you have another person let me know.. don't fool around behind me. It's not that I encourage him or wants it to happen but I just cannot accept dishonesty and untruthful partner. I am a very loyal person and expect my partner to be one too.

I believe in Qada and Qadar and I also believe whatever happens in our life, there are always some reasons behind it. I hope and pray that my friend will stay strong. I know she is now suffering. Stop blaming yourself ( which we woman normally do) and think about yourself and children.

To all man out there, whatever reasons that you have please think wisely before you venture into this new life of yours. To all the woman yang nak sangat kahwin dgn laki orang ni.. fikir dan fikir lah berkali2.. "Semanis-manis madu bole menjadi racun pada seseorang. Mungkin manis bagi kita tapi belum tentu memberi kebaikan pada orang lain."

*I hope I can sleep calmly tonight without bothering hubby by pestering him with this issues! :)

International Day at British School of Muscat

Today is the Oman's National day. This year my kids' school celebrated it by organizing the International Day. Malaysia country took part in a few events. In the early morning the children paraded in a group of their Nationalities. Then it followed by performances from selected countries.

Malaysia is one of those who performed. We did the 'Kuda Kepang' dance. Ehem.. and it was choreographed by me!! At first we wanted to do silat but when come to think of it, it might looks bored and furthermore I don't even know how to do this silat!! Actually I knew nothing about this Kuda Kepang too but with some researched, I managed to create some steps.

We have four dancers from Year 3 including Hakeem. The kid started practice since last couple weeks. They did a tremendous job and everybody loved it! They remembered all the steps taught and they really looked wonderful. As for the Kuda Kepang we did it since the day we decided on it. The Kuda Kepang was made by Nadira and helped from Nurul. Thanks to both of them as they were so creative and the Kuda Kepang looked so lovely and beautiful.

Beside the performances, we also had our culture presented in one of the classes. We had our traditional wedding with pelamin. Suka budak2 ni main kahwin olok2.. The kids got to wear baju pengantin and tasted our traditional delicacies. Surprisingly they all loved it especially keropok! They also got to try playing Congkak and Batu Seremban. Interesting right.. According to my children, their friends said that Malaysian culture was the best among of all that they have visited.

In the afternoon, we had stalls selling foods from various countries. The stalls started selling at 1.00pm. We had nasi lemak, karipap, seri muka, kek lapis, bihun goreng and souvenirs stuffs. Yang paling laku was Nasi lemak and karipap!! Other stalls were selling their own traditional foods as well. Nabila and Hakeem were crazy spending money on origami at Japan's stall. Haih... kopak Mommy dia.. baik je balik lipat sendiri!!

Anyway.. it was a fabulous day today. Though it was a very long tiring day but everybody did a good job! Our Malaysian ladies did an excellent work as a team. Malaysia Boleh!!

Back To Business

After 9 days long Eid break, today I am back to my routine. Well.. actually this break was more meaningful to my children instead of me! I am a full time "worker" and there is no really like a real "break" for me. Hari-hari kena kerja owwhh...

We hardly have holidays here in Oman unlike in Malaysia, asyik cuti je.. So whenever there is a long holiday, we always plan to do something or go somewhere. Beside on the Eid day itself where we had guests coming over, we also organized another session of makan-makan. Since the weather now is getting colder, barb-q is always be the agenda. But this time we had stimbot and yong taufu. Fuhh.. memang pulun makan je ni..

We also made a trip to the desert - Wahiba Sands. We stayed a night there. At first we almost cancelled the trip as the weather lately was not that good. There were rains and thunder storms at a few places in Oman. On the day itself, the sky was blue and bright. Lucky us.. and there we were.. in the desert with a cool nice weather.

Beside that, most of the time we just nestled ourselves at home watching TV, eating and brought the children for a swim. Today as expected, waking up my two kiddies was quite difficult but once they reached the school and meeting their friends - happy and senyum sampai ke telinga. Hmm... after 9 days not to worry waking up them early and rushing to send and pick them up from school, here I am back to that routine.

Salam Eid Adha

Salam Eid Adha from all of us here in Oman. We celebrated our Eid yesterday. Eid Adha always reminds me of those who perform Haj in Mecca which definitely touch my heart as I wish I could join them too. I have a few friends and relatives performing Haj this year and wish them Haji Mabrur.

I and family here just celebrated at home and invited a few friends coming over to our house. I started cooking from early morning - as usual our "wajib" menu was Nasi Briyani Ayam. Our guests came over in the afternoon.

My guests brought Mee rebus and Lontong. We sat down chatting, eating, chatting and eating again till late afternoon. Memang best betul makan ni..

We had a good time and good food too. Thanks so much to Kak Faridah for the delicious Mee rebus and also Lyn for the scrumptious Lontong.

To all my friends and family - Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha.

Never Too Late

People always say, it's never too late to learn or to do something new. I've always wanted and dreamed of learning or doing something but many of them never came to reality. There was always an obstacle that hesitated me from doing it. Money, time and age were the reasons.

At my age of 42 now, I do still want to try and learn something new and I guess I still have a chance. 10 months ago, I did my first adventurous activity - mountain biking. One of my dreams actually! Wanted to this with hubby but because of time factor we didn't have the opportunity till we are here.

I totally enjoy this new activity of mine. I am not a sporty person by default! I didn't qualify in any of sports game during my school's day. I don't know how and why but 6 years ago, I've started doing exercise at home and going to the gym. Now this activity is like a routine in my life and cycling is my weekly's. I enjoy every second of it.

Recently I enrolled myself into a Quran lesson. I wanted to do this long time ago. I can read Al-Quran but what I am learning now is the correct way to read and to know all the tajwid. On my first day when the tutor tested me to read Al-Fatihah.. my gosh.. lots of error in my pronunciation. Even when I read Bismillah.. Aduh... malunya!

At that point I was glad that I took this lesson. I realize how important this is to me and I am not going to miss this opportunity. I've went to three lessons and Alhamdullilah there was so much that I've learned. I want to learn until I am able to read smoothly and correctly. Insyaalah..

If I were to list down here what are the things that I wanted to do and learn, it could be an endless story. I want to learn how to swim which I think this can never be fulfilled - too late I guess! I also want to climb a mountain or probably go for rock climbing. When I was single I always dreamed of going backpacking with my girlfriends. I guess now I can't as I am not 'single' anymore but I think I can still do it with my daughters! YES.. girls.. let's do it one day before Mommy get very old :)

It is never too late as its is better late than never!

Cancer Awareness Walk - Muscat

Yesterday I took part in the 8th Cancer Awareness Walk. We started from the open area in front of the Ministry of Justice at the Wizarat Street, Al Khuwair. The walk started promptly at 4pm. I and hubby were among in the front rows (semangat ni...). We took around 45min to finish the 3km walk.

We were joined by all level of groups from children to adult. Some were even on the wheelchair and also pushed their babies stroller. I could see that everybody was so sporting wearing the pink t-shirt and participated well in this event.

This was my first time actually. I always wanted to do this, to be involve in any of these NGO thingy things. I also wanted to participate in any walk or run and yesterday was my first achievement! Yesterday's 3km was not that challenging to me. Cewah..... but frankly you actually didn't feel you were walking as far as 3km as we walked in a group.

October month is also observed as the " Breast Cancer Month". NACA (National Association for Cancer Awareness) is having a booth for free talk, checkup on anything related to cancer at the Qurum City Centre.

Cancer is so common and related to my life. I'm saying this is not because I am having cancer or what. Syukur Alhamdullillah.. in my last medical checkup I am free with any kind of sickness. Anyhow I am still have to take precaution and do my yearly routine check up.

My mom died because of cancer. My three uncles (my mom's brother) died because of cancer too. My aunt who is my mom's sister is currently suffer of bone and lung cancer. She is now still surviving under the medical treatment. Scary right.. it's all run in my family. I pray to Allah to give me a good health. I am now doing my best to practice a good diet lifestyle.

This event remind me a lot of my mom. To all the cancer survivor, I respect and have a high regard for them for being able to fight, cope and survive. As for those who have lost their beloved person in their life - She or he will always be our hero/heroin. My mom has always be my idol. Though she couldn't make it indeed she was still the strongest person on earth that I've ever seen. I love you mama, miss you and always do.

"I was just asking, Mommy"

This morning, Hakeem came to me asking "Mommy.. did you see my watch?". Instead of answering where was the watch, I scolded him by telling him off that if he were to take care of his watch, he would definitely knows where was it. I did not just stop in a sentence but I kept stressing of how he always put his things around and sometimes being careless. He also expect others to remember where are his things instead he, himself.

He was just standing there waited till I finished and answered me back "Mommy.. I just asked you where is my watch. You don't have to be angry at me. I was just asking". He then walked away with a confused eyes and wrinkled forehead!

Hakeem then asked his dad whether he knows where his watch is, hubby answered "I don't know Hakeem" which of course with a soft tone concerned voice. Hakeem was so pleased when his dad answered that though he still couldn't find his watch.

He told hubby "I like the way you answered me, Ayah. So cool.. Not like mommy. When I asked her, she got angry and scolded me because I didn't take care of my watch" Hahahahaa.. I was laughing when hubby told me this but at the same time felt so bad that I reacted to him that way.

I was actually in the middle of something when he came to me. I was in a tensed situation with my other child. I think if he were to come to me even if I were to be in a good mood, I guess I would give him the same response. This is not the first time he's been asking about his watch or toys and books whereabouts. Everybody in the house has to know where are all his things.

Being a mom, I always stressed out to him about being a responsible person. Compare to me and hubby, my children of course always feel in a safe and comfort zone with him. They seldom got scolded by him. They always got what they want especially during outing. They hardly got NO for the answer.

That's why Hakeem always says "my dad is the coolest dad on earth". On the other hand, when they have problems - it's me who they look for. When it's concerning with the school matters, mommy will always popped out in their mind. Regardless how 'mean' and countless time I scolded and made them cry, at the end they always came to me and said "you're right mommy.. I should have listen to you".

I guess it happens to all moms. We as a mom sometimes has to play the "cruel" role in the family but of course with some reasons. Kids nowadays are so demanding and challenging to deal with. This is also one of the reasons why we need an angel daddy to be around to be their savior.

My kids though hardly got scolded by their daddy but if they get it, it would take longer time for them to get over it. Hubby would have quite a tough time to win them back. They would get so emotional.

Well.. no matter how and what, both we mom and dad are trying our best to make and do the best for our kids. I always regrets after I scolded or had a row with my children. I hope that when all my children get older, they will appreciate and understand every single things that I've told them. Why sometimes I have to say NO and why sometimes I was being so emotional and dramatic over certain things.

May Allah bless all my children.

The Obsession

OMG.. I never being so obsessed into something that I would spent days, hours on my lappy doing research. I've gone so thorough into this "something" that if anyone were to ask me, I am sure can explain it correctly in details.

Normally my obsession towards "something" won't be last long. But this one particular thing just made me go crazy!! It's hunting me all the time, day and night.

When come to think of it, this makes me scared. What is wrong with me? I mean is it wrong to have this kind of feelings? I think it's normal (ayat penyedap hati..) as I know very well there are lots out there share the same kind of this feelings that I have.

Or maybe this is a sign of my "midlife crisis"??? Or maybe I am feeling bored to death here in Oman that I got nothing to do except dreaming and thinking so much about this "something"? I would prefer the first one :) - midlife crisis! Hahahahha..

Frankly this new obsession really occupied me. I enjoyed every seconds of it. It's like setting goal and mission in my life. YES.. I have something to aim and looking forward to get it. Gosh.. I am sounding like my son now, Hakeem who is so determine and positive if he wants to do or get somethings.

Well.. be positive and go for it if it makes we happy right? What I know at the end of the day this "something" will definitely drained my purse!

Ain't the Lucky One

Hmm.. kalau bab lucky draw, cabutan bertuah, masuk competition kat news paper or supermarket - I will fall under the category of the UNLUCKY one! I don't remember when was my first trial of being in any of these but from the beginning it doesn't hit my luck.

Give up? Not really as when I did it, it was always for fun beside also always hope and berangan to win. Every time after I submitted the forms of course lah berangan kan.. "kalau ah aku menang dapat keta ni.. aku nak pakai or jual" "kalau ah aku dapat duit sejuta ni..." "kalau ah aku dapat tv ni..." Memang akan creative otak ni kalau bab berangan menang itu ini..

My dreams actually work harder than my effort. I sometimes kept all the forms, the receipt but never actually found a time to fill it up. I still remember the kacip fatimah competition. I told my maid to keep every pack opened as I want to win the 1million competition. Always and kept reminding her to do that. Being me.. azam je lebih tapi tak isi and hantar form langsung. At the end I found the whole stack of kacip fatimah packs (probably more than 10) in my kitchen drawer. Huh.. macam mana ah nak dapat sejuta!!

I sometimes amaze how some people can easily win something or got their name chosen. I've read about a person who every time when he enters any of these sorts competition or lucky draw, he would definitely win. I don't think you have to be genius or super smart to win this. Just fill up the forms and write your name down - that's it right?

Yesterday I got SMS from my telco said "Lucky you! The number 95xxxxxx (my number) is one of the candidates that could win RO1000 tonight from Nawras! Send YES to 91999 now to enter the draw! 500bz/sms" At first I just ignored it but after got encouragement from my supporters (hubby+kids), I went for it. I answered YES and went thru a few steps of answering questions. Each process cost me 500 baiza and I stopped until I had qualified myself to win RO1000 last night and monthly winner of Toyota Prado. With investment of 4 riyal, I am very confident that my number will be chosen!

So last night and masa nak tidur.. berangan habis ni.. plus with my kids dah awal2 asking their portion if I win RO1000. Hahahahhaa... I waited until 10pm and told my hubby, go ahead and sleep and if I win, I will definitely wake him up (cewah.. confident habis ni)! I waited and waited until 12 midnight and after I didn't know when.. What I know when I woke up from sleep this morning, check on my phone - taraaa... NOTHING!!

Hmmm... first thing I said.. rugi my 4 riyal! Then mula pot pet.. ni mesti Nawras tipu customer nak buat duit lah.. and more and more rasa ketidakpuasan hati!! Hahahahha.. pitty me...

People always say.. you will never know that you might be the lucky one! Our Malaysian friend recently won a car when she dropped a contest form at the Dubai airport. She sold the car and got huge sum of money!

And me... I don't know when my time will come.. but I always know I ain't the lucky one when it comes to this!

Walaubagaimanapun.. di sudut hati kecil ini masih mengharap Nawras will call me for the RO1000 or prado maybe.. and maybe also Lulu or Alraimi complex competition for getting a car! No harm to have this big dreams right? - from "Ms Hoping" hahahhaa..

Sauna vs Steam

In most of the club or gym area they would have Sauna or Steam room. Frankly, all this while I don't know and don't really bother to learn what's the different between both until today when I popped in myself into these both rooms.

What I know when I walk into the Steam room, at first I would feel suffocate and breathless but I like that feelings. After a while I would feel ease and relax. It's not so hot in the steam room and I hardly (as far as I remember maybe not) getting sweat. As when I am in the Sauna room, after 5 minutes I would definitely get sweat.

This morning while sitting in the Sauna room, it triggered me to learn what actually the different and why normally both of these rooms are installed in the gym. Below are some facts:

Sauna has very low humidity which means can be much hotter than a steam bath. The temp are normally between 80-100 deg C while a steam bath is usually 40deg C. Saunas are heated with stones place on some kind of heater. When the water poured on the stones that produce a thick cloud of steam. This effect the raising of temp in the Sauna but the steam quickly dissipates.

On the other hand, a steam bath uses a steam generator. The steam is fed into the room where it builds up to create humidity level. Both rooms are constructed with different materials because of their heating methods. I would put it the easiest way to understand - sauna uses dry heat and steam uses moist heat and both are basically hot bath!

Both have therapeutic benefits. They are good for blood circulation and can cleanse and rejuvenate the skin through heavy perspiration. They are good for easing muscle and promoting feelings of relaxation and well-being (this part, I like!)

If you ask me which one that I like - if I have time I would go to both rooms. If not, I would prefer sauna room as it makes me sweat fast. Psychologically this sweating part always make me feel good!

Nevertheless taking saunas or steams bath is better than doing neither.

Sick.. Sick.. Please Go Away

I don't like to get sick especially at this age, I mean - my age that is consider 'old'. When I am sick, I will always feel sensitive and gloomy. Then I will keep thinking of 'why' do I get sick. I hardly get sick - be it demam or selsema. I think in a year I probably got sick once or twice. So kalau demam je mula ah sensitip mitip ni...

This morning I woke up with body aches, cold and weak. I immediately knew that I am going to have fever. I didn't take a shower coz I felt very cold. I cancelled my gym session today. After sending kids to school, I took panadol, covered myself with blanket and fell asleep right away. After one hour, I woke up sweating. I felt better a bit but still felt weak.

I just relaxed and watched TV. In the afternoon when I wanted to pick up kids, I shivered again. Damn.. I hate it so much. I felt so weak. I felt so hungry but I didn't have any desire to eat. After came back home I took another panadol, lie down and felt sleep again. I then felt hungry when I woke up. Nak makan tekak rasa payau but I have to eat something.

I know why I got sick. The day before I went for my cycling activity. I cycled after 3 weeks break and a week leisure without any exercise. So agaknya terkejut muscle2 ni.. Another thing probably is because I had too much 'petai' and 'keledas/genuak'. I had non stop eating since a week ago. Not just my tummy terkejut.. semua parts of my body terkejut! Hahahahaha...

As I am writing this post, I feel a bit better. I plan to go to the gym tomorrow or probably hop into the sauna room!

Sand Storm

It's October now and we are heading towards winter. Weather has been so nice lately. It was not so hot this back few days. We can feel the breezy windy in the morning and night.

Yesterday, since morning the cloud was so gloomy and dark. Everybody here already predicted that it's going to rain. I was bit skeptical actually. Rain here in Oman? Well.. it's not that it never happened before but it hardly rain here.

Anyway, I was wrong. At 5.10pm, signs of rain were happening. I was at home and could hear the wind blow so loud and the sky outside was so dark. The wind kept blowing so hard which caused my front door difficult to open when I was trying to take a peek outside. I can hardly see as the sands was covering up my view.

My kids ran upstairs to the roof top. From the picture taken it's confirmed that it was a sand storm. Scary right? After 10 minutes everything got back to normal. We finally have rain here! It's grilling. Though it's just grizzling and happened for a while, that was enough to make everybody here in Oman thrilled and excited.

According to hubby, some roads were starting to flood. I bet those who were on the road during this sand storm happened were surely scared and terrified. Alhamdullilah everybody was safe.

The best part was, we were excited and happy to smell the rain. Gosh.. we miss the rain so much ah..

Back To Business

After a week in Malaysia, I am back to my home in Oman. I am so happy to see my kids and hubby and it feels good to be back here, my house here.

A week in Malaysia, I have managed to settle lots of things which one of those was Nadira's College registration. She'll be starting in January 2012. Beside that with a long list of things to do and to buy, I at the end got everything done. Every single of my days was occupied. I got out from the house in the morning and came back at night.

It was tiring actually what more with my sleeping that had gone haywires. A week just flies so fast. I was so sad to leave my house at Shah Alam but at the same time was eager to come home to see my family here. I guess I have to get use to this kind of feelings.

Anyway, my normal routine began yesterday. I thought of going to the gym but had to postpone it to next week. There are groceries that need to be done. Then with my kids’ matter at school. They just wanted to wait till I come back to do all what’s pending.

Gosh.. yesterday I felt almost breathless and suffocated. A week I left them and when I came home there is like a week of job pending that I’ve to settle in a day! Anyway yesterday, I’ve managed to clear up major tasks.

So here I am.. back to my busy routine day. Today is a bit relaxed for me and managed to update a blog. Till then cheers!

At Home in Shah Alam

I have safely arrived to Malaysia - tanah tumpah airku... After two months left, my feelings were not that excited.. Macam baru je kan lagi... Furthermore I left hubby and other children behind. During my flight journey, I was thinking about them, lots.

From KLIA, we took a taxi back to Shah Alam. I was greeted with a big smile and surprise from the security guard - part ni mmg terasa dihargai.. walaupun guard Nepal! hehehehhe.. Anyway once the taxi stopped in front of my house, luruh jap hati...

My 'small' garden (so called garden because I have like 6 pots of plants and grassy area), were so dry. The grasses were some tall and some dah mcm padang jarak padang tekukur. There were also dried leaves all around the compound. Then my pangkin - hubby's favourite spot.. looked like there was another tick layer of carpet on top of it which was actually debu putih yang tebal!

I stood outside of my house for 10 minutes before decided to went in. Memang terlupa actually nak masuk dalam coz duk sebuk belek itu ini.. The moment I stepped in, oh my home sweet home.. still look the same (of course lah kan.)... How I miss this home so much.

All of our furniture has been covered and not much dust there except at the area of the sliding door. I started to sweep and clean up at that area (nak sapu and mop satu rumah tak larat ah mak...) which then I realized there was no electricity. Alahai.... gi rodek2 at the electricity fuse box area and managed to got it ON. As for the upper level of my house, our rooms still smell the same. Gosh.. these remind me of hubby and kids.

After a couple hours rest and my tummy has started growling, Nadira and I went out to get something to eat. We went to Giant as we planned to do some groceries after that. Masuk je Giant... bau bihun sup, bau nasi goreng.. mcm2 dan sungguh menggugat iman! At the end I ate laksa.. Laksa Penang.. Pergh.. sedap sungguh.. makan sampai tak angkat kepala ni!!

This was just my first day back here! Last night I slept early - kalau ikut time Malaysia lah.. and time Oman lagi lah awal... as I couldn't sleep in the flight. I just got so tired and the moment I lay down on the bed - I was already fly to the moon!

I woke up early today and cannot sleep back though I tried. Well.. today I already have plans and things to do! Got to get ready..

Trip Back To Malaysia

I'll be going back to Malaysia tonight. It's just for a week short "business" trip. I'll be going back with my daughter, Nadira and leaving my other children behind in Oman. I seldom leave them and this is my third time actually.

The first time was 5 years ago. I went back to Malaysia to arrange my eldest college's registration. I left Nadira, Nabila and hubby. I went back with Hakeem as he was still small (4years old). It was quite tough as I relied so much on Hubby and Nadira. Nadira at that time probably was 12 years old. She did a fantastic jobs taking care of Nabila and even cooked though tak menjadi but it was a good effort.

The second time was when I left all of them - a trip to Bandung with my aunt and cousin. This was just 4 days trip and hubby took care of the children. This Bandung 'get away' was actually first time in my life. I always dreaming and planning of going somewhere far with my girlfriends - back packing and hopping from one place to another.

Unfortunately.. berangan je lah.. as I have a family now lagi ah susah. My eldest daughter told me once "Mommy.. let's go somewhere.. we.. girls only. We leave Ayah and Hakeem behind and have our fun time together" Hmm... interesting right.. YES.. one day I want to do that!!

Anyway.. my visit to Malaysia tonight is to arrange Nadira's college registration and settling some other matters. My children especially Nabila and Hakeem are already aware about my trip. Two days ago, they already showed their worried of me going away.

Last night while watching them doing homework, Nabila said "Mommy.. who's going to run through my homework and test my spelling if you're not around". This morning Nabila cried when I sent her to school. She said that she will miss me and won't be able to see me again.

As for Hakeem, he is acting cool so far. He said that he of course feels sad but because he is a big boy now, he wouldn't want to cry and have to be brave! That's my boy.. :)

This time around, Nabila and Hakeem not just has hubby around but also their elder sister Nurul and my maid. I've made a schedule and long list of what to do for them.

I know hubby will be able to handle the children but being a mother, the worried is always there. I am most worried especially in the morning time which always the peak and rushing time of getting ready to school. I am also concern about the night time when they want to sleep. They will definitely looking for me and starts to cry. Nabila already asked something belong to me for her to hold at night so that she will always feel close to me. Owhh... she is such a sweet girl.

I hope and hope all of them will be fine while I am away. As for now, I haven't started any packing yet! Nothing much to bring actually. I also have a long list of things to buy and to do during my stay. Hope everything goes well as plan.

Briyani Again..

Anyone for briyani? Specifically Arab's briayani? Gosh.. we'll just never get tired and bored eating briyani here. Though after so many times eating, even in a week row then swear not to eat anymore... after a few weeks we tend to forget and hunting for briyani again! Hahahaha.. orang melayu bab makan memang banyak pantang.. "pantang jumpa"!!

One of our favourite's briyani restaurant here is called Bin Ateeq. This shop serves Indian and Arab briyani. We always go for the Arab Qabooli rice. The rice are tender and delicious. The color looks pale but when you eat them, you could taste the spices.

We love to have briyani with chicken, fish and meat. The chickens are deep fried cooked. The chicken is crispy outside but the meat is juicy and tasty that you can just even eat on its own. My children love the king fish. Actually deorang goreng buh garam kunyit je.. But because it goes with briyani.. that makes the different.

We also love the meat. Mostly the meat comes with the bone. I don't know how they cook the meat but it was so soft and tender. I wonder whether they cook weeks before.. hehehhee.. The first time when we had this briyani, we thought we just couldn't eat and even favor it. It was because they serve the briyani rice just with salad and chicken. They also have a side dish like our air asam except this version is not spicy at all - just a mixture blend of tomato and onion.

Our version of briyani - like briyani johor it will surely comes with gravy. So just imagine the first time we had this briyani... tak tertelan rasanya.. But after a few bites (3-4 kali suap ah...) we tend to like it. The rice spoke by itself "eat me alone, it's still taste good". We fell in love immediately and it's our monthly routine to have this briyani.

Last weekend we had our lunch at Bin Ateeq. Actually we already had the previous weekend.. but because tekak ni dah terkenang2.. so we went again. Makan memang bertambah.. not just twice. I've lost count tapi memang melebihi muatan!!

My Time Has Not Arrived Yet

This year hubby and I planned to perform Haj. When hubby got his job here, we planned to go from here.

The process of applying to perform Haj in Oman is different back from our country. We have an organization or agent like Lembaga Tabung Haji to organize and make things smooth. Here we have to go from one travel agent to another to enquire about the package. Some travel agency who used to organize Haj last year might not be doing it this year. The price of the package of course comes in different varieties price.

We got a few package prices from the agent but all the lodging are in Mina. We wanted to stay in Mecca so that we can perform daily prayer easily at Masjidil Haram. While we were waiting for the other agents to get back to us, we got to know one reliable agent that do Haj packages for all the VIPs. We contacted them and got to know that every year Saudi set new rules for the non Omani residence who wants to perform Haj.

Unfortunately we did not meet the requirement set by Saudi. We would have to be a resident here more than 2 years and age 45 years old above.

I was shattered and heart broken when heard this. I was very excited and was looking forward to perform Haj this year. The early process was smooth that I thought we will get thru it. Inilah yang dikatakan tiada rezeki. I couldn't sleep and was so upset when thinking about it. I kept saying to myself that I've done something wrong that Allah won't let me perform Haj.

The following day when I was bit calmed, I more or less accepted the fact that Allah has reasons why He won't let me to perform Haj this year. I've read a lot about people's experiences in Haj. Performing Haj is not like performing Umrah. I've done Umrah twice. Yes.. Allah invited and allow me to be there but maybe for Haj my "invitation card" is not yet arrived.

I will never give up and stop asking from Allah to let me perform Haj, which I want to go next year. I have one year from now to plan and prepared myself. I might be going thru Tabung Haji from Malaysia or maybe try again from Oman. I have one year to check and ask around.

Not everything that we wish for will come true. Not all the time what we want we will get it. If Allah does not give what I want it doesn't means that Allah has ignored or forgotten about me. Allah still loves me.

Allah tidak akan membebankan seseorang melebihi kadar kemampuannya. Dalam setiap kesulitan pasti ada hikmah terpendam.

"Ya Allah ya Tuhanku. Kau maha mengetahui dan mendengar. Kau tahu apa yang tersurat dan tersirat dihatiku. Berilah aku peluang dan jemputlah aku dan suamiku untuk menunaikan Haji. Kami ingin menjadi orang yang beriman dan dekat kepadamu, Ya Allah"

Raya Mood

Still in the raya mood? I guess raya open house still goes on every weekend back in Malaysia. I bet everybody are so looking forward eating, meeting and putting on raya clothes during this gathering. Goshh.. I miss this..

As for us here.. life goes on and business is back as usual. Last weekend finally we got an official raya open house from the Malaysian Embassy. Yeahhh... Actually this was the second raya gathering. The first one was made on the first eid. I went and not many Malaysians as most of them were back for their summer holiday.

This time around agak meriah ah sikit.. The night before I helped out in preparing the food - my section was cucuk daging kat satay.. My first time actually and it was quite thrilled especially part daging yang banyak lemak tu.. hehehhehe..

The gathering started at 2pm - 6pm. We arrived there at 2.30pm with an empty stomach! There were many other foods like soto (special dish by Datin), nasi dagang, grilled chicken, ulam2, sambal belacan, not to forget satay and lots more...

I was also happy to see some of the familiar faces and friends who were still here since the day I left Oman. Dah macam jejak kasih ah lak... Some were surprised to see me back here again in Muscat.

Anyway.. beside chatting and eating photo sessions were not forgotten.. Serious.. dah tua2 ni lah makin menjadi nak tangkap gambar sana sini..

Monte Carlo Circus

There is a circus in town! Last Thursday we went to watch it. It is the Monte Carlo Circus. We bought and reserved the ticket as early as 4pm. We arrived at 7pm which was the first show and the place was already crowded. We took the seats which was in front of the ring!

The show started at 7.30pm with introductions of all the crews and followed by the clown. It went on with the jugglers, magic show, acrobatic and walking on the high wire. I really like the jugglers show. It was Hakeem's favourite too as he always like to juggle anything that he found that can be juggled! Ternganga mulut dia nengok...

There were many performers from different country but one that made of us proud when they announced "Zaki from Malaysia". Wah.. at first we didn't believe our ears. He of course didn't look like most Malay Malaysian. He looked more to Arabs Mexican or keturunan Syed2.. He performed juggling and balancing things using his feet. He also did the fire show where he spit the fire out from his mouth.

After the break was the lion and tiger show. At this time Hakeem already feeling sleepy and started to get bored. I took them 15 minutes to fix and install the fences around the ring.

The animal show to me, was so so.. Nothing extraordinary performance made by the animals except I felt pity for them. The animals got wept and they smelled so stinky. I wonder how long that they have not been cleaned.

The circus show ended at 9.30pm. When we walked out, a big crowd of people were waiting and queuing up for the second show. Luckily we took the first show as we were already hungry and getting tired by the time it finished.

We enjoyed the night and the show. Nabila and Hakeem continued for a couple of rides at the Marah Land. They at first feeling sleepy terus segar bugar riding on the roller coaster. We arrived home at 11.30pm and that was our weekend activity!