Last night I got a shocking news about my friend, good friend actually. Her husband got married to another one. Gosh.. I was pulled back a bit as I know both of them, the husband. I just couldn't believe that her husband could do that.
I might sound unfair to the husband but hey.. I am a woman. No woman ever wants their husband to married another person and some more bermadu pulak! Orang selalu cakap jodoh ajal maut di tangan Allah. AGREED! TOTALLY! Kalau dah ajal, memang sape tak bole tolak tapi kalau kita sendiri menempah ajal mcm naik motor ala2 mat rempit.. tu dah lari dari dasar clause tu. Then kalau bercerai.. not one sane humankind wants that to happen to his/her marriage. Tapi kalau dah partner buat hal.. violent or probably having affair - tu pun sama mcm menempah tiket untuk menamatkan jodoh.
To man it's probably something to be proud off to have 2 or more wives. The fact is I don't think any person can be THAT fair to all the wives. Mulut cakap je.. hati? Yes.. he probably being fair by allocating his precious time to the wives but deep in his heart, I am sure he favor one of them. So where is the fairness??
My cousin dah bermadu more than 15 years. I've seen her ups and downs with his husband. Dari bermadu 3 orang sampai tinggal seorang sekarang. Frankly I don't like the way her husband treated her but she herself always tells me.. "takpa lah.. nanti aku dapat payung emas" Tu semua ayat penyedap hati.. but deep inside her she's suffering. At one time she was so close like sisters with her madu and at other time macam perang dunia. I think she is now more or less just go by the flow. Let things happen by itself.
Back to my friend's story.. I really feel sorry for her. For whatever reasons that the husband could list still it is unacceptable for him to married another one especially at his age. Last night I kept wondering why and why. I've heard many of my husband's friends married to another one or divorced at this 'late' age.
Life of marriage is not that easy actually. I, myself had face lots of obstacles. Some were scared to be remembered and some were good and always be in my memory. I love my family and my marriage and wouldn't want anything happen to it. I always tell hubby, if you have another person let me know.. don't fool around behind me. It's not that I encourage him or wants it to happen but I just cannot accept dishonesty and untruthful partner. I am a very loyal person and expect my partner to be one too.
I believe in Qada and Qadar and I also believe whatever happens in our life, there are always some reasons behind it. I hope and pray that my friend will stay strong. I know she is now suffering. Stop blaming yourself ( which we woman normally do) and think about yourself and children.
To all man out there, whatever reasons that you have please think wisely before you venture into this new life of yours. To all the woman yang nak sangat kahwin dgn laki orang ni.. fikir dan fikir lah berkali2.. "Semanis-manis madu bole menjadi racun pada seseorang. Mungkin manis bagi kita tapi belum tentu memberi kebaikan pada orang lain."
*I hope I can sleep calmly tonight without bothering hubby by pestering him with this issues! :)