Saturday, 29 March 2008

My Children

This morning I went to attend Faizah’s Parents-Teachers Meeting at Taylors University College. I met her ESL, Physics, Chemistry n Biology teachers. Overall all her teachers gave good remarks on her results, study n herself. But still she needs to work harder to get higher score in her results. She’s now taking South Australian Matriculation course under MARA which prepares her to go to one of the Australian University for her Medic course.

She has to finish her SAM course here n Insyaalah will be flying to Australia next January 2009. But all of this depends on her final results end of this year. I hope n pray that she will sustain with whatever progress that she’s making now n at the same time take more effort n work harder to achieve better results.

After done at her college, we went to Hakeem’s n Nabila’s art school. Today I’ve enrolled them for the art class. Just now they had a trial session n it was very impressive. The teacher love them so much especially Hakeem who seems to be extra friendly n bubbly. They will attend the class once a week for a two hours session.

And starting next Monday, my two little children here will be very busy as they will start their kelas agama in the morning. Now I have to train them back to sleep early n wakes up early every morning. All this while they were having their honeymoon time - watching TV all the times, sleep n wake up late.

Hopefully these activities will occupy n benefit them while waiting for their ‘real’ school to start.

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

The Damaged

Today is the kick-off day for my job as a ‘project consultant’. Oops.. hold on.. I am not working at any company actually.. I am the project consultant for my own ‘project’. If today I am the project consultant, tomorrow I can be a driver or a cleaner.. hehehehe..

Anyway the ‘project’ that I am responsible at is actually to make sure our house to be ready as planned so we be able to move in there. We bought the house a few years back. Every single minute after we bought the house, me n hubby were non-stop planning to do this n that. But none actually had been done!

We made our first step when I went back to Malaysia mid of 2006 to fix n install the lights, fan n a/c. At that time we were actually planning to go back to Malaysia for good. So why not do things slowly from Oman. Well.. it’s not easy as it says. It’s very difficult to monitor things when u r not there. So we decided to temporary discontinue our plan.

Early 2007, when my hubby went visited the house, we were so surprised by the uninvited guests – cik anai-anai. We had actually about 50 boxes of clothes, household, books that we kept in one of the rooms. The boxes were all our things that we shipped from Miri before we went to Oman. So it’s a heaven for our guests. I don’t know how long they have been there but the damaged was totally disaster.

My hubby got his contractor cum pest control friend to fix the problems. They managed to get rid the termites but at the same time gave us another problem. They had accidentally n wrongly digged the floor which below there lay the water main pipe. You can imagine the rest… When enquired they claimed that the pipe was not supposed to be there coz it’s very unusual to have the main pipe there. I wonder what they do with the floor plan that they asked from us before.

By the way after a few emails sent n finally I am here nagging n calling the person to resolve the problems, today he came to fix the pipe - the big hole that they digged nicely on the pipe. I have to wait at least 48 hours for the cement to be dried. According to him this is the fastest n best solution that he can get at the moment. Next week I will install back the water n electricity then see whether the water will burst out from the part that he fixed.

He asked me to call him back if that arise.. hmmm…. I took a deep breath n turned my face away from him for a second. Or else he will surely hear something that he doesn’t like (n my hubby will be annoyed at me). Please Mr. Kontraktor.. It took me ages to get you to fix this (with reasons that u’re busy, got problems, no stock) n now u r telling me this is like your trial plan. If this doesn’t work then you have to go to plan B. Excuse me… what do u think I am.

Do u think I have all the luxury time to see u fix all this? Don’t u know time is money? And I am spending my money on u for nothing!! Huh… @#%**#$@..!!

Tuesday, 25 March 2008


On cloud nine

That's what I feel now...

Monday, 24 March 2008

Small Pain in the Chest

Life seems not to be fair when everything decent that we done are seen to be dreadful by others. It is so difficult to please a person. Especially for those who are close to us. We thought that they understand us better. We thought that they know us better.

If we happen to be better than u doesn’t mean that u are worse. If it happen that we have more money than u doesn’t mean u have less. If it happen we are popular doesn’t mean that u are unpopular. Why don’t people take life positively? Take what happens n comes as what it has to be?

Sometimes no matter how hard we tried, we still failed. All the great effort that had been done are just worthless. And at the end we feel so hopeless n useless. And there comes another sacrifice. Sacrifice that u have to make. Though it is so painful n difficult to do, u still have to do it for some reasons. For the reason that others will be happy n pleased.

Maybe that is the best way. To see the person that u care to be happy. It’s better to make many hearts smile rather than hurt. If it only to be hurt n sore is just a one single human’s heart. Let the pain reside in the chest for a while. And let the pain heal by itself..

It is hard letting go of something that was so good
Maybe it is the only way of keeping happiness
And maybe someday we will come to understand
Why it didn’t last forever

Sunday, 23 March 2008

My Precious

It’s true.. what will I do without u. My dearest precious laptop. My web cam n my 3G celcom. This is the only way n media that I can use to communicate with my dearest hubby. Of course the telephone is the most easiest way to use but the cost.. huh.. u can tell it.

I communicate almost everyday with my hubby thru email. It’s so difficult to chat with him during his work time. He seems to be very busy n not be able at all to sneak out using YM even to say ‘hi’ to me. Pity me ahh.. And he still doesn’t has the internet line at his home yet.

And during this weekend somehow he got the internet line at home (don’t ask me how) n be able to chat with me n the kids. We were so happy. How I miss him badly. He looked like he’s losing his weight. (But still boasting about his ‘grown up’ muscle!) How I wish I could just jump in to those web cam n give him a hug… hehehehhe.. how I wish..

I just got lots of things to tell him. Gossips, stories n nagging to share with him. Now I’ve been updating him about my new ‘fever’.. akademi fantasia. The 1st concert started last night. Nabila has already learned the dancing step n the akademi fantasia theme song.

I am now counting days for him to comeback. Every morning I wake up with a relief that today is a new day n wish that it will end soon for tomorrow to come.

Friday, 21 March 2008

My Feelings

I’ve been a bit busy lately. Nadira was at home during the Maulidur Rasul holiday. She came back for a one day home visit. We went out to get some food ration for her to bring back to the hostel. The travel fetching n sending her back to the school was a bit tiring. Furthermore it was always heavy rain during the evening.

Last night my aunty, Kak Yan, Daniah n Piqah came from Kedah. They’ll be here for a few days. So this morning our routine started with visiting my cousins at Chow Kit. Her husband just passed away a week ago. Later on we went to KLCC. What else.. when all girls went out.. shopping time!!

I am feeling frustrated n upset today. Well it’s not because of I couldn’t get the size of the shirt or shoes that I want but it’s because of my ‘baby’. The ‘baby’ that I’ve been waiting for so long. The ‘baby’ that I’ve been dream of. But it’s still not in my hand yet.

You know the kind of feeling like when u have money but u can’t spend it. The feeling like u see the food that u like but u can’t eat it. The feeling like u see something that u like so much in front of u but u can’t touch it. Arghhhh….

That kind of feeling that made me sick n distressed. I know I can’t do much. All I have to do is to wait. Dan aku pasrah…

Tuesday, 18 March 2008

Penawar Rindu

My little two kids have non-stop talking about their dad. Especially Nabila, every night she will asked n sometimes cried wanted her Ayah to be around. Every time when it’s a bed time I will face this. I’ve given her my hubby’s t-shirt that was not being washed n still has his smell. Nabila devotedly will put that on every night.

She sometimes even wear it during the daytime. At times when I n Nadira saw she’s crying, we will cry too. It hurts to be apart. But I guess me n my kids have to learn to go thru this. The first time is always difficult. And we r struggling to get use to this.

Three days ago I’ve made for Nabila a calendar to show the exact date when she’ll see her Ayah. So every morning she wakes up eagerly looking for the calendar n strike today’s date. She will count n tell Hakeem how many days more to go before they can see Ayah. Meanwhile I have to always make them occupied.

I know I’m not the only person in the world that experiences this current situation. I know that others have the same feelings like me too. I know others sometimes even faced more difficulty than me. I just pray that whatever me n my family is doing will be blessed by Allah. Insyaalah..

Sunday, 16 March 2008


Today is the day. The day for Nadira to venture her first life experience staying away from home. Today after lunch I sent her to her new school at Genting Higlands. It’s a boarding school. First when we reached there, we met the hostel matron n then the HOD Marketing for the registration.

Not many students arrived yet at that moment. Her sis Faizah helped her to unpack her stuffs n made the bed. For the time being Nadira has been placed in the dorm. Actually during our first visit n arrangement with the teacher, she’ll be staying in the room (2 persons). But since there are no girls student at her age that’s in the International curriculum, she’ll be staying with others who are around her age (13-14).

There are not many students in that dorm though. I hope she’ll be fine n can easily get along n make new friends. Starting tomorrow the whole week she’ll be having an orientation week with other new students. We stayed there about two hours. When it’s time to go, she started to cry. I felt very sorry for her.

I was so sad to leave her there but I know she’ll understand why we have to go thru this. We had talked about this. I hope n pray that she’ll succeed in her GCSE n further her study to the next level. On the way back home Nabila n Hakeem slept thru out the journey. Later on I sent Faizah back to her apartment.

Now I have started missing everybody. My friends in Oman, my children who are apart from me now, my dad n relatives in Kedah n the most is my better half who is now at the other part of the world..

Saturday, 15 March 2008

The MakeOver

Today is the last day n the last minute getting stuffs for Nadira. She’s going to her new school tomorrow. We went out after having nasi goreng breakfast at home. We managed to get all the stuffs for her. It’s a very tiring day for all of us especially my two little tods. But Alhamdulillah Nabila n Hakeem got thru the day.

Today also is the ‘makeover’ session for my kids – Faizah, Nadira n Hakeem. They got their haircut. Look at all these photos.. especially Hakeem who was very excited. At first I asked him how he wants his hair to be cut. He said not too short like Rasyad but something like Abang Zaid. He wants to look like Ben 10.

After been consulted by the hairstylist, Hakeem got his haircut like he wanted. The hairstylist put gel n set his hair. He is happy n very excited.

But later on all his spiky hair got flat n sweaty after the ‘jumping n playing’ session. But he still look handsome indeed..

Thursday, 13 March 2008

The Morning...

This morning I accompanied Mak to the Genaral Hospital, Kuala Lumpur. After half n hour n twice circling the GH, we finally got the parking. Mak registered n got her number. I’ve decided to go to the shop downstairs to buy newspaper since there were eight more patients to go before Mak.

I was reading the newspaper n talking at the same time to Mak about the recent elections news. I didn’t realized that there’s one lady beside me who was looking at the paper too until she said something.

Makcik : Huh.. apa lah nak jadi

Me: I turned my head to her n asked kenapa Makcik?

Makcik : Ni semua jadi angkara Pak Lah. Org semua ni marahkan dia.

Me: Ohh…. Memang tu.. ramai yg dah suruh dia resign (saja provoke)

Makcik : Ko tau tak mcm mana deorang ni suma berkempen? BN ni kalau berkempen, dia asyik buat meeting je. Dia pilih rumah org kat kampung dan buat satu meeting. Pastu buat meeting org yg sama je dia jemput. Mana lah org kampong lain nak tau.

Me : (try to understand actually) oh ye ke..

Makcik: Kalau PAS bila 2-3 hari lagi nak pilihanraya, dia dtg dari rumah ke rumah.. cakap n pujuk suruh pangkah PAS. Kalau lah org tua2 (sambil terjuih bibir tunjuk kat Mak) mmg ah boleh terpengaruh. Kalau mcm Makcik ni takpe lah.. hati kebal n pegangan kuat.

Me: I looked at her then Mak. Hmm.. I wonder how old is she that she said my mom is an old woman.

Makcik : Eh.. ko org PAS ke BN?

Me: Saya?.... saya org BN. (saja nak provoke lagi ni.. )

Makcik: Makcik ni org melaka. Melaka tu pun menang tipis je. Kalau lagi 4 tahun BN tak ubah Melaka akan jadi mcm Penang jugak..

OOPS – her number has been called.

Me: I was smiling to myself when she’s gone.. After awhile she came out then my mom went in to see the doctor.
The conversation later on changed to more on introducing ourselves.

Makcik: Ko dah kahwin? Dah ada anak?

Me: (do I look like I don’t?) dah makcik, dah ada anak pun.. ramai

Makcik: Anak kat rumah ke? Laki ko jaga?

Me: Ish.. tak lah..
Then somehow I don’t know how is it I end up telling her that I just came back to Malaysia n now my hubby has been posted somewhere.

Makcik: Kenapa ko tak ikut laki ko? Kita ni.. mana ada laki kita, kita kena ikut..

Me: TERKESIMA seketika…

Makcik: Zaman sekarang bukan bole percaya. Sedangkan depan mata boleh jadi mcm2 tambah duk jauh.

Me: Aduz.. I felt like she punched my face. Eh.. saya ikut nanti. Sekarang ni dia tgh uruskan rumah dulu. Nanti kemudian baru saya pergi.

Makcik: Masih nak bebel lagi ni.. Kita org perempuan kena ah ingat.. Jaga laki kita….
Thanks God, my mom came out. That Makcik kept quiet. Then she went out for awhile, then came back to us. I just pretended not to see her. Her name has been called again for the blood test.

Later on I saw her left with her hubby. There was the Makcik with the shocking pink baju kurung who boosted up my morning..

It really does Makcik. Now should I be worried or not....

Wednesday, 12 March 2008


I am still waiting for my new car to be delivered. It has been promised that latest by this Friday I’ll get it. I’ve received a call just now from the company informed me that there has been a bit problem in delivering my car.

It seems that a few papers that needed to be endorsed n cleared by the Immigration are still in pending. The reasons are those people in charge were still missing n not coming to the office. And this is because they are having sort of protest n mogok of having a new MB for Selangor.

Some said even MPAJ n a few government associations ran their protest. My bro from Kedah told me that people form MPKS run their protest by not collecting rubbish from house to house!

Hallloo…. Excuse me… if u don’t like the opposition party why did u vote for them at the first place? And if ur vote were not strong enough to win what u choosed, then u just have to accept the fate. The result is the end. It’s over!

Now.. I am one of those victims. Why did I come back during election? Why did I buy a car during this election? And why don’t all of u move ur ass n do ur work. I think ahh… these bunch of people are just taking advantage to have a free holiday.. curi tulang n cari alasan nak memonteng ahh!

For all u know, these were the people that voted for the opposition party. They just like to create attention for some reasons. For me as long as my country is safe n the economy is healthy, whoever is the MB or PM it’s not a big deal.

The big deal n important thing now is I WANT MY CAR TO BE DELIVERED TO ME SOON!

p/s: bersemangat balik mengundi.. tapi aku yg jadi mangsa org2 lain yg tak puas dgn keputusan undi!! Ni nak mogok ni… mogok lapar.. ehem boleh gak kurus nanti..

Monday, 10 March 2008


I’ve faced many shocks n blowed since I came back to Malaysia. First is how KL has really changed - the roads, people n surrounding. Many new malls n buildings rise up. Everything seems to rise up too including the price of oil, gas n foods. Those days when I worked in KL, I can spend RM10 for bfast, lunch n dinner. But now it’s impossible. Even if u buy rice at any stall it can cost u at least RM5.

Recently the whole nation has been shocked with the results of the election. Most of the country has been taken over by the opposition party. Maybe people want something different. Not the same promises n hopes all the time.

Aside from all of that I was also shocked to receive news concerning my family. Kejutan demi kejutan.. So many matters happened. And so many things changed. And so does go to people. People changed. And when the person changed, their perception n thinking will be different too.

Sometimes I wonder why all of these happen? Sometimes no matter how hard we try to avoid n mend it, it still happened. Maybe some people just like to create something to get attention. Maybe this is how Allah tests us.

In the meantime I hope I can survive to endure with whatever that comes. Life goes on.

Saturday, 8 March 2008

Mari Mengundi

Today is the big event for our country – Pilihanraya Umum ke-12. And because of today also is one of the reasons why I am back to Malacca. This is the first time in my life (after 18 years eligible to vote) as the dutiful citizen, I will vote today.

Without I realized I’ve missed five elections. Wonder why I am here today to vote? Well this is what I feel. I am not really into these politic issues. And I am not really into the ‘hot’ conversations about the election that is goin on now. But I love n like to hear opinions n view from different kind of parties.

These are the reasons why I didn’t vote when I was 21 years old:
  1. I didn’t know that I am eligible to vote
  2. Though I’ve seen my parents dutifully carry out their responsibility to go out voting during every election but they didn’t tell me to do so (I don’t blame them for this)
  3. Maybe I was too ignorance all this while
  4. To conclude it all – tiada kesedaran yang saya perlu mengundi.
And today just for one reason – I as a Malaysian citizen would like to carry out my duty to go out n vote. I’ve registered as a voter at Malacca 10 years ago. I was staying at Malacca on some business projects n was encouraged to register by my colleague. A few months after that I’ve moved back to KL then away from Malaysia till now.

This morning around 10.20am, Mak took me to the school where I was supposed to vote. None of us actually knew the location. We asked around n finally got to the place – Kampung Portugis. I was laughing to myself. Why did I register here? Especially at the area that I know nobody. Hehehehe. To tell the truth, I never know the wakil rakyat at this area too. I have no time to look for their details background.

After showed my I/C n made some verification I was told to go to the 2nd floor. I was actually nervous. The feeling like I am going to sit for the big exam. Funny ahh… When I entered the room, they gave me the ballot paper n then done my duty. I felt relieved. I walked down the stairs proudly as I’ve carried out my duty as a Malaysian.

Later on Mak brought us to her friends’ house for kenduri kahwin. We really continuously pulun makan at this two kenduri. I truly enjoyed the experienced on this election.

Friday, 7 March 2008

We Gonna Miss U

Different feelings n unusual emotions. That’s what I felt when I sent my hubby at the airport today. Me n kids were totally sad to see him go. From the KLIA I went back to Malacca. It was heavy rain thru out the journey. It made me more saddened.

To my dearest hubby, may u have a safe journey n safely arrive to the destination. We had already missed u. Nabila just cried asking about u. Now I had started counting days for u to come back.

Thursday, 6 March 2008

A Visit to Kakak Jamaliah

Last night we went to pay a visit to our dearest friend Kakak Jamaliah. I am so happy to see her so healthy n in a good fit. We had a dinner specially made by Uci. Not bad though.. We spent there about 3 hours.

Uci now has started working. Temporary every morning Pidin will send her mom to their aunty’s house. Kakak was so happy to see us. I am glad too. Insyaalah I will visit her again.

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Our home

We’ve moved in to our house yesterday afternoon. The house that we received looked tidy but still need thorough cleanup like mopping the floor n brushing all the dusts. Lots of work though but we managed to finished it by the evening. Thanks to my hubby for the great mopping part n all my kids who involved in this gotong royong!

This morning after intensive unpacking clothes from all the bags to put in the cupboard, cleaning n mopping again, I am now smiling relieve that all had settled. Last night we went out to buy things for the house. Oh dear.. it’s just like starting all over again. Even though we took some of the household from the boxes that we shipped from Miri last time, still there r lots of things to buy.

I’ve promised this time I will only buy things that I will use now n even for my own house. I know.. I know.. I’ve been warned by my hubby n my cousin Cik D!

Our house is not too big but just nice for our small family. Hakeem n Nabila started to love their new home. They got to sleep in their own room n bed. At the moment no grumbling n whining wanted to go back to Oman.

As for me who has not start cooking yet.. gladly there’s a restaurant nearby. The food kira ok lah.. So kejap-kejap Nabila wants to eat Mee sup n Hakeem Poratha (roti canai). And Nadira who’s always hungry… that’s the solution at the moment. Hehehehhe..

Monday, 3 March 2008


Should I just keep quiet? Should I just hear n pretend that I never knew about it? Should I just stay calm like nothing happened? Should I make a call?

I don’t even know why these always happen each time my home visit to Malaysia. This time I’m coming back for good. Am I making a right decision to be here? I thought when I am here I can be closer n if anything happen I am here to ease things out.

The recent phone call that I received have really made me upset. I’ve now started having migraine. Ya Allah… I wish You can guide me. Give me a clue what I can do to solve all this. It really made me cried out.

I wish I could do something but I know that I could not. I feel totally helpless. Why all this has to happen? Why? I feel so sad n depressed.

My last hope is Allah will lead my dad to make a wise decision. I pray that Allah always be with him n protecting him. I pray that Allah will make him stronger to face all this.

Though I've never mention anything about this situation to u, that doesn't mean that I didn't care at all. I love u more than anything else.

Sunday, 2 March 2008

My Cup Cake Baking Tray

This is a story of my cup cake baking tray.

I love to bake cakes. My recent invention was cup cakes. I had invested lots of money on the baking tray, decorating books n all the stuffs that u used to decorate the cakes. All these stuffs that I bought in Oman are not cheap as most of things in Oman are imported goods.

When I was packing stuffs in the boxes for shipping I’ve decided to put aside two of the baking trays for me to bring back home in one of my luggage. On the last day during my final packing these two baking trays seems not to fit in any of my luggage. So I put aside while I tried to figure out where I should squeeze those baking trays.

Then the last day came. The busy day of the final packing n sealing boxes. After all that done then I realized that I haven’t put the baking trays in any of the luggage. I then planned to pass it to Nazri so that he can bring that back on his next home visit to Malaysia.

I’ve totally forgotten about that until I reached the airport. After a while there suddenly I remembered about my baking tray. Where did I put it? Have I pass it to Nazri? Did I give it to Udik? I asked both of them but they seems not knowing anything about it. I kept thinking where did I put it but I didn’t remember anything at all.

I was a bit frustrated thinking that I might have left it at the house or just misplaced it somewhere else. Therefore I told myself just to let it go.. It’s ok.. You can always buy a new one.

After the goodbye session over, we went inside to the immigration to stamp our passport. When that’s done we went to the section where they scanned all our belongings before went to the departure hall. I grabbed the big paper bag (given by Yahya) which almost fell down from the conveyor belt. When I looked inside it there it is.. my cup cake baking tray!

We were laughing out of it. I didn’t remember when I put inside the bag. I just wonder what those policemen were thinking when they saw that thing inside the bag. Hahahahhaha… And now those baking tray is safely with me waiting for my next cup cake venture.

Saturday, 1 March 2008

The Next Step

Today is the new day of the month – March. We had managed to get all things done. We got the school for Nabila n Hakeem. We also got the house n car. Alhamdulillah… I feel relieved that things settled as we planned. It’s just that now I have to sit down to prepare n go thru the school forms/documents to be sent to school.

We’ll be going back to Malacca tomorrow. I still have my big baggage n boxes there. We’ll be coming back again to KL bringing all our things to our house here. Then I have to prepare things for my hubby departure to his new workplace. Oh dear.. lots lots of things to do…

It shivers me when I think of my hubby will be going away leaving me. He never actually leaves us for long time duration. The longest I think was only 3 days. How am I supposed to face this? I don’t know.. I’ve been thinking lots lots of things. What might happen when we are here n what might happen to him when he is there?

And at the same time I don’t want to worry him so much. But for me I can never stop thinking n worry with thousands of possibility of if, what if n so on… I guess that’s nature for a woman, a wife n a mother. I just hope that I will have the positive thinking to live my life well. I don’t want to get sick n stress unnecessary. Yeah.. I hope I’ll do what I’m saying here…

Meanwhile I have things full in hands that waiting to be done. And I hope I will carry on.