Only God Knows

Last 3 days my father called me informing that his two best friends passed away on the same day - his golf n surau buddy. My father sounded so shocked n upset. I was surprised too as my dad was just talking about them weeks before.

Whenever there are any of his friends around the neighbourhood or our family friends, relatives passed away, dad used to call me. I know n still remember some of them, how I always see them around me when I was small.

I don’t like n so scared to receive the news of somebody that I know passed away. It all started since the day my mom left me. There was at one time my father told me that there were many people around the neighbourhood who gravely ill n passed away. He said that he didn’t know when will be his turn.

One day all of us might die. You don’t have to be old or sick. It’s just the matter of time. Either you are ready or not, your time will come. I always asked myself, in what way Allah will ends my life. Will I going to be gravely ill like my mom? Will I just like die while sleeping or doing something good?

And the final one am I ready to be taken away? As for now, I am not yet ready. I still have lots to prepare for my after-life. I want to at least see my two youngest children finish their highest education n can stand on their own.

I’ve watched Azean Irdawaty on TV when she has been diagnosed of having the second stage of cancer. She said – doctor claimed I only have 6 months to live. That’s what the doctor said but I beg n ask Allah to let me live longer maybe 2 years. Allah is the one who decide whether I should live according to the doctor's prediction. She is indeed a woman with strong will.

I always remind myself to always think about death. No one has immunity against death. No one is too healthy to die, or too young to die or too wealthy to die or too powerful to die or too famous to die.

I dont know when is mine. Only Allah knows.

Firman Allah bermaksud: “Dan Allah sekali-kali tidak akan menangguhkan (kematian) seseorang apabila datang waktu kematiannya. Dan Allah Maha Mengenal apa yang kamu kerjakan.” (Surah Al Munafiqun: Ayat 11)