What I am gonna tell here is the same old story, promise n vision. I’ve not being going to the gym or doing any exercise for couple of months. Once you’ve been in that period for so long all the guiltiness had vanished n you will feel numb n don’t care anymore.
All the people I met gave the same reaction – I’ve put on weight n some of them dare to ask me, are u pregnant? Tak sayang mulut tul.. When I look at myself in the mirror – takde lah gemuk sangat. I am blessed to have a height n broad body frame. So it will not be too obvious if I put on weight. My jeans still fit me except kekadang mcm sesak nafas gak nak tarik.
These are just words to make myself feel better. But I know my body very well. I have managed to expand certain part of my body. It’s a lie if I don’t feel upset n frustrated but damaged has been done. Anyway to cut the story short – last week for 4 consecutive days I managed to drag myself to go to the gym. On the first day I took n recorded my weight – for some motivations of course!
Today after done with my session I took my weight again. With big hope after a week exercise I stepped on the weighing machine n SHIT.. it’s the same number kgs. What do I expect then? I was hoping for some miracles – at least ½ kg shed will make me feel better. But this kind of miracles didn’t happen to me. Sob sob sob..
Since I was small I always believe in miracles. Probably being influenced by the fairytales cartoon I watched so much on TV. There was one time I was hoping that my piano homework that was pending for a week will be completed by miracle. I even made wish behind the door then after 2 hours I sneaked to have a look at the book hoping for miracle. Silly me. Now everybody knows my childhood dumb secret. Hehehehehe..
I still have faith in this miracle phenomenon except now I am being more realistic. Miracles did happen to me. It’s probably not in the physically kind of ways but Allah gave me different types of miracles. I am thankful for receiving that.
I can have a dream that tomorrow morning when I wake up my body will be like Jessica Alba. However it won’t happen to me if I don’t work for it. Nevertheless hoping for miracles is harmless. One thing that make feel good now is my watch that I am currently wearing is a bit loose. Well.. don’t blame me but I need some motivations here :).