Of late I’ve been thinking a lot about my father. How I miss him so much especially during Ramadhan. When I think about him, certainly my late mom will come into view as well. It has been six years that I lost her. Though I am back here to Malaysia for almost 7 months, we hardly had a chance to meet each other. I only went back to Kedah once n he came to visit me thrice. But we always make a point to call each other frequently. It seems that both of us understood n accepted the arrangement quietly.
Sometimes how I wish that I could turn back the clock. How wish that my mom would still be around and things still unchanged. But these are all God’s plan n arrangement. Things happened for reasons. We Islam have to believe in fate – Qada & Qadar.
I’ve learned to accept all the situations that come to me with open heart. I am willing to do anything for my father as long he is happy. Even so sometimes it hurts inside me but I don’t mind doing it. I know that deep inside him too crying n yearning for things to get better. But I guess both of us just have to put up with it. Let things flow as it is. Better stop crying over spilt milk.
The day that he called me before I performed Umrah, revealed what’s inside him. My father was always so reluctant to let his feelings out from him. I cried after put down the phone. I really miss my old man. And this morning he made me cried again.
It’s not what he said that hurt or annoyed me but the conversation we had that break me down. I am truly understood what he’s been thru. My father is not young anymore. I just hope that he will enjoy his last moments of his life with joyous n happiness.
One thing for sure, his loves towards me has never changed. I love my father very much n I wish that I could be with him right now.
1 comment:
sedih la akak baca, menitis air mata ni... try to make effort to be with him more. Disregard other matters that's not too important don't let it come in between.
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