The Experience

My experience during this trip of Umrah was totally different from the previous one. The last time I went was with my hubby n children. The weather at that time was so pleasant. Masjidil Haram was not so crowded. Everything was seems so easy for all of us. The hotel in Makkah was just 3 minutes walk. The moment I stepped out from the hotel, I could see the Masjidil Haram.

But this time, it was like chalk n cheese. The weather was boiling hot n all the time we were draining with sweat. My hotel in Makkah was 20 minutes walk. Our journey to the Masjidil Haram was always being accompanied with the winds of dust, lorry, and tractors. Our white telekung has turned to grey colour.

But Alhamdullilah all of this didn’t make me stop going to the mosque. It even made me more determined n energized. The feelings of prayed n looked at the kaabah were such a dramatic n amazing moments. It was an experience that I will never forget in my life.

I didn’t encounter any difficulties or trials while performing Umrah. Except this time it was a mixed up kinds of feelings, emotions that I had because I was there alone. Alone without my hubby. 3 days before leaving for Umrah, I was having a doubts n fears of whether I was making a right decision going there without him.

Thinking of leaving my children for quite sometimes which I never done it before n all sorts of fears n worries played on my mind – what if anything happen n I am not around? I guessed Allah wanted to test me. I did lots of solat hajat, taubat n isthikharah n talked to my hubby n finally I had a clear mind on the next day.

Allah had pre arranged everything nice n smooth journey for me. I had my cousins who were willing to come down from Kedah to take care of my house n children. My children had no problems with them. During my absence, the two little ones seem not to notice so much of my disappearance.

I didn’t actually have worried about them while in Madinah n Makkah. Alhamdullilah my health was superb while some were having cough n flu. And most of all my bonding between me n my mother in law has became stronger. We enjoyed every single moment there n love the company of our usual colleagues. The food was so good till we complaint that all the dress we brought couldn’t fit anymore. I was so excited to eat shawarma with my favourite diet pepsi n rani juices.

The last few days of my stay, I have started missing my children. There was one night I couldn’t sleep, cried thinking about them. The next day during asar, there was one lady came to me n asked me to look after her child as she wanted to perform tawaf sunat. I asked whether she will be long as I’m afraid the child will woke up from sleep n cry. She said it will be quick n before I could say anything she had quickly gone.

I who at first didn’t bother to look at the child when the mom was talking to me was so surprised to see the child who was sleeping looked exactly like Hakeem, except he was a bit skinny. Ya Allah… I touched the boy n the tears were in my eyes. His eyes lashes, the nose n the snoring reminded me of Hakeem. Thank You Allah, for sending this boy to me.

My two weeks journey of Umrah has taught me lots of things. I had seen different kind of people n attitudes from various culture n even within my tour group. I understand why Allah chosen me this time to go without my hubby. I was there not only to take care of my mother in law but also others as well. Somehow I always being picked to lead the way though a few times I told them that this was my second trip n I had lack of knowledge in all this. Just like my previous Umrah, I was always being approached by elderly people n this time by children.

Most of all, I learned to appreciate more the life that I have now - my hubby, children, family n friends.

I was fortunate indeed. I was fortunate because has been chosen by Allah S.W.T to be in this trip. I hope that this will not be my last trip to Makkah. I would like to go there again soon with my hubby to perform Haj. Insyaalah.