Am I a revengeful type of person? If anybody asks, I will definitely say NO - which actually I think I am. It’s just depends to what kind n level of situations n experiences that harm or hurt me.
I can easily get hurt but I am also easily in forgiving people. When u forgive people it doesn't mean that you forget what happened. Its not like u erase something on the paper n it will gone in a second.
To forgive is easy but to forget… this will take long time. No matter how I try to forget though I have forgave but when the memories or situations happened before flick in my mind I will remember every single thing that caused the damage.
I don’t want to hold the grudge or anger deep long inside me. I don’t want to die as a person known to be bad hearted n enemy to others. Its just at times there are damaged that u can’t just get rid from yourself. The hurt might not be painful as first it happened but the scar which remains there that always reminds u.
As I am getting older, I am more sensible n realistic. What is past is past, let the past be gone. What is there to argue? I try to normalize the situations by putting myself in that person’s shoes. Why it happens – it could be me who trigger it. Probably I rake up old stories to satisfied myself. It will be easier to throw the anger at people rather than to yourself.
Things that hurt me till now are when especially it involves my family. I’ve seen series of arguments, anger n how some people can just be nice in front of u but behind u turns to an evil. How this talam dua muka with PHD attitude still exist in this world around me.
How these person loves to see you break down n ruin the relationship among your family. I wonder wether they have any sense or feelings. I wonder what they get by doing all these. I wonder wether they ever think that these all are wrong doing. I wonder wether they are scared of GOD that they have jeopardize people’s happiness.
Every night before sleep I try to practise to forgive people who hurt me as I want them to forgive me too. If I were to bump in to this person I force myself not to think what had happened.
I want to forgive n forget at the same time. Though it’s not easy but I know God will help me.
* forgiveness is not something we do for other people. we do it for ourselves - to get well & move on *