Talk From The Heart

My two younger children, Nabila & Hakeem are so very talkative. They can just sometimes talking n babbling about everything. Nabila is non-nonsense talker whereas Hakeem is full with imaginations that can sometimes talks beyond his mind.

Whenever Nabila opens her mouth, she always talks about facts, details explanation especially about what she learned at school n things she read. As for Hakeem he loves to talk about his creative imaginations n also lots lots of questions of why this n why that.

At their age they just talk n express whatever comes across their mind. They sometimes don’t even know that there are things n stories that actually ‘exclusively’ for us the family to know. This also proven that kids don’t lie n they just so sincerely n genuinely say from their heart. A few occasions happened that the teacher will come n ask me – is it true what Hakeem said that…………..??

Recently Hakeem’s class teacher said that Hakeem told her “my mom didn’t send me to class today because she is so shy n scared that people might see her ears n neck” Well.. actually that morning I wore new tudung n didn’t realized that it was very transparent. Nabila noticed it first said that she could see my brown colour hair clip. When I looked at the mirror while driving I said “Oh my God, how could I not see n realize that this tudung is so transparent. People could see my ears n neck. Now I am so shy to send both of u down to the class”

Being nice n thoughtful both of them said I can just drop them at the drop point zone. So that’s why I didn’t send Hakeem to the class as usual n I also didn’t expect him to tell that to his class teacher! A week ago, a BM teacher n one assistant teacher (approached at the different time) came to me chatting told me that Hakeem n Nabila said their daddy’s boss name are Mr penyapu lidi n Mr Garlicky. Hehehhehehe.

This I have to blame my hubby!! He always likes to joke around n created weird funny names about everything. I told both of the teachers that Nabila n Hakeem don’t even know the meaning n what is this penyapu lidi. Their daddy was just joking around. Now I have to correct n create new names for my hubby’s boss just in case they want to brag about it!

When I was away for umrah, my cousins were taking care of my children. At night before go to bed my cousins chatted with Nabila. Nabila told them that she sometimes pretended sleeping when I asked her to. Being nosey my cousin asked did u see anything what mommy n ayah doing. She said they were just talking. They didn't do anything. They didn’t know I was pretending to sleep. Hahahahaha.. bahaya betul…

There are lots more if I want to tell here. Nabila n Hakeem grown up to be very curious n everything that interests them will lead them to non-stop talking n questioning. They see, hear n feel. You don’t know what your kids are talking among their friends. Like one of Nabila’s friend said that her daddy's car got a button that when press, the car can fly n change to an aeroplane. And Nabila believes that till now n always curious to have a look at the car. Hakeem even told me that his friend said the Bakugan toys are more cheaper if were to buy in Singapore. Hehehehhehe..

I'm in The Mood...

Last two days when I was in the kitchen, Nabila said I feel awkward n bored Mommy. When asked why she said “I haven’t seen u done any baking for so long. No kek lapis, no muffins, cup cakes n no baking. Why?”

Smiling I said.. “Well.. probably I am so lazy to do any baking.” So today, I plan to make a special dinner. BAKING but no cakes or sweet treats.

I wanted to do n experiment with this recipe long time ago. I wanted to try when hubby was around but always ended up serving him our local dish. By the way tonight I made roasted chicken. Well.. the chicken turned out to be bit over roasted n black on top.

It was because I didn’t cleared up the marinated ingredients on the chicken which it should be. Anyway.. look does not matter – nak sedapkan hati.. but the taste.. ummph… kalah Kenny rogers chicken.. hahahha

I also made mash potatoes. So the chicken, mash potatoes with the black pepper mushroom gravy plus lasagna. Memang sedap.. Kids were really enjoyed it.

Tonight also we celebrated the excellent academic report I got for Nabila n Hakeem. Both of them got excellent impressive result n comments. Dhaniah bought cake for them. I am so proud with both of them. Well done.

So anyone wanna try my secret recepi of roasted chicken - click here. :)

Best Friends

Last night I watched Bride Wars Movie. It’s about a childhood best friends. Very funny, entertaining n bit touchy for me. Well.. I am not going to talk about the movie actually. When the movie was over, I was thinking about myself. I asked myself, do I have any best friends.

Frankly n I felt so sorry that I couldn’t remember any of my friends from Primary School. But I have lots of buddy when I was in Secondary School. I have a friend name Fairuz. She is my best friend n sat beside me in the class. We have an opposite characters but somehow we managed to get along very well. Then I also have Hazidah, Abby, Faridah n not to forget Azura.

These were kawan2 masa gedik bersama.. hahahhaaha.. I was a tomboyish during my school days. Me & Hazidah actually. Among of all our friends, Abby is the most beautiful one – ye lah.. keturunan sharifah ni.. She always got lots of admirers n pet sisters. (I was in all girls’ school) So having admirers n pet sisters was something ‘in’ n big deal to us!

Then Faridah is also pretty as she is keturunan anak mami. So just left me & Hazidah who were always menumpang kepopularitian mereka.. We always hung up together in n after school. My house was always being our favourite spot. They all are so close with my parents especially my mom. After SPM we still see each other n this when I started learned to made myself girlish.. put on skirts n baju kurung.

I still remember during Raya that we went from one house to others. We actually cycled! Yes.. Our main transport at that time was a bicycle. So after SPM we made a theme to wear skirts, no pants for our raya outing. So there u saw us the girls with some short skirt, some long cycling bicycle from one house to others. Huh.. kira gempak n glemer ah waktu tu.. hahahhaha..

These were just parts of my best sweet memories with them. I miss all of them so much. I always meet Hazidah & Fairuz when I went back to Kedah. The last time I met Faridah after my mom passed away then Abby who I bumped in at Ikano a year ago. These are all bunch of my best friends that always be in my heart.

When I started further my studying I have Eja, Yat, Gee, Ana, Nik & Wahitha. But among them Eja & Yat were close to me. We shared, laughed, cried together. I am still in contact with Eja & Yat. Even when I started working, Eja was always my buddy. My shopping & ronggeng partner.. hehehehhe.

During my career time, I was close to Kak Ija. She’s like my own sister, a good hearted n kind person. As time flies I changed place of work, got married n finally quit job n follow hubby to Miri, Sarawak. There was the time that I was actually hardly meeting all my best friends.

At Miri I have lots of good friends. All of them are pangkat kakak2 or makcik2 n alhamdullilah I managed to suit myself with their 'atmosphere'. When I moved to Oman, with not many Malaysians there I have many good best friends. Friends during your school time are totally different when you are adult n old like me.

Now with the husband & children we are not just friends to the wife but also to their family. I have Rohaya, Oja, Lin, Zaireen, Ina, Kamsiah & Umi. All of them created beautiful memories in my life while I was there.

And now if u ask me do I have any best friend? Pathetically.. I just realized I don’t have any. I mean best girl friends. I still on & on call all my best friends but the distance made us so difficult to be together.

As for now, if I need a shopping partner – my daughters are always jumping for availability. Also beside that I have my cousins, Dhaniah & Piqah. Then if I need to just sit down have a cup of coffee n stuck in KL, I will call my buddy Ida. If I need to merapu n release my tense, I will call my cousin Kak Yan.

Otherwise I just bite my nails n longing for girl friends. Thinking about those old days. How wonderful life was at that time. And I miss all my girl friends.

My life is different now. Not that I am regret about it. But that’s the fact. Life goes on. On the other hand, I always have my hubby as my best friend n he will always be.

p/s: I wish I have more childhood pictures to put here but my albums all left back in Alor Setar.

Hakeem's Class Show

This morning I went to see Hakeem’s class show. The show was about what they have learned for this final term.

Hakeem was superb, happy, smiling all the time n just couldn’t stay still at his place. All the students did a wonderful job. This was the last show for Hakeem in his Reception class.

I am sure he is going to miss his teacher Miss Andrea n some of his Nursery’s friend when he moves to Year 1 this September.

Well done Hakeem.

H1N1 Flu Influenza

I read the latest news about the Influenza A (H1N1) flu n it really scares me. A few schools have been closed.

My friend who has two eldest daughters in Cempaka International School told me 3 days ago two students were found infected. The school only closed the effected class. She was so damn worried n didn’t send her daughters to school the day before.

Today she sent her daughters to school n in the afternoon she called me in panic that she has to take her daughters out from school. 10 students now have got infected. When she arrived at the school, the parents got to wait outside n not allowed to enter the school n there were also lots of media reporters around.

She, her two daughters n her driver have to go under house quarantine till next Monday. If there is no flu, fever that means they are safe. She has another two younger children which in Nursery & Year 1 same in my children’s classes. Both of their children will be taken care of by her mom. It means that she couldn’t see her two younger ones till weekend.

To make it worst, she is not allowed to be with her hubby (MAS Pilot) who just got back for a break. She almost breakdown when told me this. Our youngest one has a show tomorrow morning n she gonna miss this n ask me to take a video. I feel sorry for her. I pray that she n her daughters will be safe.

My friend is having flu since last week till now. When asked she said the doctor said it was just a normal flu. Now I am worried or better say paranoid. I was with her doing some helping at school since last Thursday. Minta simpang.. touch wood.. Mudahan dijauhi segala penyakit.

This morning I also called my SIL as my nephew is in SM Shah Alam. She told me that the infected closed class is in the morning session. My nephew is in the afternoon session. Most of the students are wearing masks for precautious.

My friend said the Ministry has ordered Cempaka school to be closed when discovered two students infected. I don’t know for some reasons they didn’t do it. Whatever it is.. I hope that schools, ministry n governments will take enough precautions n warns about this matter.

Happy Father's Day

Today is a Father’s Day. We already had an early celebration before hubby went back to Kazakhstan. I cooked special dinner n Nabila made jelly for her daddy. Then they gave hubby gifts.

Today in the morning the children called n wished hubby. Happy Father’s Day n we wish hubby was here to celebrate this special day. All of your children are so proud to have you as their father. You are special to them.

I would also like to wish my father – Happy Father’s Day. May Allah bless him n the happiness with be with him always.

My father is so special to me. He is a guardian n best friend to me. When I was small he was the one who always bring me to the clinic n be with me all the time to talk to the doctor. Even when I went to see the gynaecologist, he was there in the same room with me. I still remember those till today.

He always tell me things that I should do n don’t. I know that I’ve hurt him lots thru out the years of him seeing me grown up. I was always stubborn n sometimes acted stupidly. The day he gave me to my husband, be the wali for me – that was the best moment in my life.

I know that he always wants me to be happy. And indeed Ayah.. I am the happiest woman in the world now.

Thank you Ayah.. for being a wonderful father to me, for being an understanding n sporting father to me. And the most of all, I am what I am now is because of you.

Thank you also for being a loving & loyal husband to my mother. You took care of Mama when she was gravely ill. You did a wonderful job to her n I know that she really appreciated that. Both of you are my inspirations.

I want you to be happy n enjoy your days ahead. Please forgive me for sometimes being so ignorant, rude n outspoken. The last thing that I want to do is to hurt you. I love you, Ayah.

Melancholy Hakeem

For the last two days Hakeem was not in a good mood. In the morning he was whining didn’t want to go to school. When inside the car after talking to him he kept quite but when reached school he started again the whining, nagging not wanted to go into the class.

On Thursday he told me that he wanted to go back home. I stayed for awhile at school comforted him. At last reluctantly, rubbing eyes with tears he walked into the class. In the afternoon when fetched him I met the class teacher.

She asked me what's wrong with Hakeem as he’s normally happy n jovial. Hakeem was bit quiet n full with emotions. When the teacher asked he kept quiet n tears roll down on his cheek. I told the teacher that Hakeem probably was sad because his daddy has gone back to Kazakhstan.

Later at home I asked Hakeem why he was so sad. He said – “I love u Mommy.. I was so sad because I’ve been thinking about u. I was also thinking about Ayah. When Ayah is around, both of u together.” This really touched me. I know that he miss his daddy so much. Last night I got him n Nabila to talk on the phone to their daddy.

Today again in the morning was another heartbreaking scenario. Hakeem never wanted to let me go. He kept hugging n holding my thigh. I talked n calmed him but what I got was a loud cried from him. The teacher had to pull him from me n I walked off without looking back. I prayed n wished that he will be fine.

In the afternoon the teacher told me that Hakeem was even depressed compare to yesterday. She didn’t want to ask anything afraid it will stir his mood. At one time Hakeem just kneeled down covered his face n cried. Today they were making a father’s day card.

Hakeem was very quiet n just made the card with a tense looking face. Hakeem said my daddy has gone back to Kazakhstan. I know it’s Father’s Day this Sunday n my daddy is not at home. I felt sorry for my boy. I almost cried in front of his class teacher when hearing this.

As for now Hakeem is fine. He looked happy when I fetched him from school. I know this separation is hard for my children. It will take a few days for him to adjust without having his Ayah around. He is a tough boy with a sensitive heart.

To Forgive And To Forget

Am I a revengeful type of person? If anybody asks, I will definitely say NO - which actually I think I am. It’s just depends to what kind n level of situations n experiences that harm or hurt me.

I can easily get hurt but I am also easily in forgiving people. When u forgive people it doesn't mean that you forget what happened. Its not like u erase something on the paper n it will gone in a second.

To forgive is easy but to forget… this will take long time. No matter how I try to forget though I have forgave but when the memories or situations happened before flick in my mind I will remember every single thing that caused the damage.

I don’t want to hold the grudge or anger deep long inside me. I don’t want to die as a person known to be bad hearted n enemy to others. Its just at times there are damaged that u can’t just get rid from yourself. The hurt might not be painful as first it happened but the scar which remains there that always reminds u.

As I am getting older, I am more sensible n realistic. What is past is past, let the past be gone. What is there to argue? I try to normalize the situations by putting myself in that person’s shoes. Why it happens – it could be me who trigger it. Probably I rake up old stories to satisfied myself. It will be easier to throw the anger at people rather than to yourself.

Things that hurt me till now are when especially it involves my family. I’ve seen series of arguments, anger n how some people can just be nice in front of u but behind u turns to an evil. How this talam dua muka with PHD attitude still exist in this world around me.

How these person loves to see you break down n ruin the relationship among your family. I wonder wether they have any sense or feelings. I wonder what they get by doing all these. I wonder wether they ever think that these all are wrong doing. I wonder wether they are scared of GOD that they have jeopardize people’s happiness.

Every night before sleep I try to practise to forgive people who hurt me as I want them to forgive me too. If I were to bump in to this person I force myself not to think what had happened.

I want to forgive n forget at the same time. Though it’s not easy but I know God will help me.

* forgiveness is not something we do for other people. we do it for ourselves - to get well & move on *

Hate To Say GoodBye

Today my hubby went back to Kazakhstan. If anybody asks me what do I feel – well… the same sad, gloomy n boring feelings n emotions every time he leaves me. I hate to see him going today but I have no choice.

I hope that this will be his last trip there n will be back here for good soon. Insyaalah n hope that our plan turns well.

So now I am back to my own normal routine life. It will take a few days to adjust living without hubby especially the children.

May hubby have a safe journey.

Balik Kampung - Alor Setar

Last Friday we went back to Kedah. Upon arrival at the airport at 8.30pm as planned we had our dinner at Nasi Royale – wajib ni.. There were lots of people since it’s weekend holiday for Kedah.

The following day evening we went to Danok. We had our lunch there n later on had foot massage. This indulging n pampering part seems a must if we come here. Danok was bit packed n crowded as the famous band from Bangkok – LASO setaraf Search Malaysia had their concert there. I could see many our local hard die fans youngster went down to see the concert.

Most of the time I was just staying at home lepak-lepak chit chatting with my parents. My children were having a good times especially eating rambutan. The rambutan tree (the only one rambutan tree we had) reminded a lot of my late mom. She was so eager at the first time when planted it.

Now all her grandchildren enjoy the fruits. My dad always makes appoint that we come back every year to eat the rambutan.

On Monday afternoon we were already back to Shah Alam. Though we could only spent our time in Alor Setar for 3 days, we did had a good time especially hubby who managed to eat his favourite roti boom, kuetiaw kerang Pak Latiff n nasi Royale.

Arabian Night

On Wednesday night I went to have a shawarma at Subang Jaya. It’s a small stall managed by my distance relatives. The taste was good n almost like Yahya’s one except the Arabic bread was bit harder.

I saw many students mostly form middle east came to buy the shawarma. Last night my relative – Uncle Salleh told us about one restaurant sells Arab food like shawarma, mandi rice n lot more. I heard about these restaurant somewhere in Ampang but never been there before.

So last night we made a trip there. It’s located at Jalan Damai, Ampang name Al-Rawsha. The place was packed. I wonder if it’s weekend it will be more crowded.

We had mandi rice, shawarma n hummus. Looking at the menu I saw lots range of familiar food that really a nostalgic for me. The mandi rice tasted delicious almost good as what we used to have at Mawalleh, Oman.

The hummus was bit sour n I was disappointed with the Shawarma as it mixed with lamb. I asked for chicken but I can still taste the lamb in it.

Overall the place was nice n suitable for family. I will surely come again to try other food in the menu.

What Do I Feel?

This morning when I was at Giant, a lady came to me n gave me a pamphlet. The pamphlet said “LOSE WEIGHT NOW!!!” “MENGURANGKAN BERAT BADAN SEBANYAK 10KG DALAM MASA 30 HARI SAHAJA”

OMG.. what do I feel? How do I feel?

• Insulted
• Frustrated
• Irritated
• Ashamed

Well.. I probably just have to accept the fact that I do really need to lose my weight. I will take this positively. Dengan semangatnya..

This back few months 4 out of 5 friends/relatives that I met said “Eh.. nampak berisi badan” “Hang dah gemok lah” “Tu dia… badan hang”

After awhile those ‘praise’ was like the wind blows over me. I got numb about it. Dah takde perasaan lagi.

After receiving this special pamphlet I guess I really have to buck up. Really..

Makan Berhidang

From PD we drove down back to Malacca. We have everybody except Liza & Rais who went away for their work course. My mother’s in-law house was lively n cheery with all the cucu-cucu. Riuh rendah jadinya.

Upon arrival I was busying stuffing myself with durians as the fruits have started berguguran dgn banyaknya. At night my mother in-law made serawa durian. I don’t really like it but others pulun habis.

The next day on Sunday we had family kenduri doa selamat after zohor. We sedekah lamb to people at the mosques n took quarter to cook for home. We partly roasted with the secret recipe of my SIL n the rest briyani lamb & chicken cooked by me.

The lunch n the eating together was success n great. Though it’s only us in the family but that already made the house loud n noise with everybody. And everybody loves it!

We departed back to Shah Alam at 5pm with the massive jams towards KL.