Friday, 22 January 2010

This Sharing Is NOT Caring

Last week my girlfriend called me. I knew her since I was 18 years old. The last time I met her was 3 years back. We always keep in touch by calling each other but never had time to meet up. She called me telling that her husband is getting married the next day.

This is actually her second marriage. Her previous marriage didn’t last long due to the same reason – husband married another one. She was 31 years old when that happened. She went to Mahkamah Syariah met the Kadi to allow her husband to get married.

Still.. the ungrateful husband didn’t appreciate what the wife did. He didn’t being fair to her, didn’t come back home for 6 months. She told me she was willing to share her husband as long as the husband be fair to her n the children. Somehow it didn’t work n at the end they divorced.

As for her current husband now, they have been married for a year. I asked her what she’s gonna do as she knew that her husband is getting married the next day? She said “let it be.. I am now 40 years old. I don’t have any strength to go over this n humiliate myself again” . She will wait for her husband to come back n talk about this. She will not asking for divorce n all she wants is for the husband to comeback home regularly n be fair for both side.

I felt sorry for her. I know that she is a strong woman but deep inside her she is hurting so much. Until today as I am typing this the husband didn't call her yet. She has suffered a lot n this time I pray that she will be stronger n find happiness in her life.

Woman are always to be blamed if the husband looking for another one. If the husband find another woman is because woman do not take good care of the husband. If the husband wants to marry another one he will come out with the long lists of wife’s weakness. Though they have children or married for 10 years not even one of the wife’s kindness is mentioned.

For whatever reasons man give, I always believe that marry another one won’t solve any problem. They thought they are smart n can be fair, trust me it is not easy as what they think. Nobody wants their husband to get marry another one no matter for what reason. Probably only this lady Ustazah Khadijah Aam who formed the club- Keluarga Poligami Ikhwan (KPI) knows very well about sharing husband. My god.. yg tak tahan tu the tagline – suami untuk dikongsi bukan untuk direbutkan.


Islam membenarkan poligami, tetapi tidak bermakna ia boleh diamalkan sewenang-wenangnya kerana ada garis panduan yang perlu diikuti bagi mengelakkan kezaliman kepada pihak wanita. Dr Yusuf al-Qardawi dalam kitab Halal dan Haram Dalam Islam menggariskan jika seseorang lelaki itu gagal mengikuti syarat ditetapkan apabila berpoligami, maka haram hukumnya. Ini berdasarkan kepada riwayat dikeluarkan oleh Imam Syafie, Imam Ahmad, Tarmidzi, Ibnu Majah, Ibnu Abu Syaibah, Daruqutni dan Baihaqi.

Justeru, tepuk dada tanya selera. Bagi lelaki, poligami itu indah, tetapi lebih indah jika diserikan dengan pemahaman yang tinggi, manakala bagi wanita pula siapa yang tidak hendak mengejar ‘payung emas’, namun dalam pencarian itu peritnya hanya kita yang tahu.

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