Mode : SAD

I am now very down and sad. I just received a phone call from hubby. Hearing his voice made me more upset.

He is far away from me and the children. This is our first time being apart on Raya. When I hear takbir, I cried and cried.

I am just so sad.

Balik Kampung

I’ve safely arrived in Alor Setar this afternoon. There were many cars but the traffic was good and smooth. Smooth as silk. Two hours later my second bro arrived from Kelantan and my third bro will be coming back tonight.

My children especially Hakeem is so excited having his boy’s cousins around. In the evening we went to Pasar Ramadhan. Huh… dah sampai sini rugi kalau tak gi.. The foods here are much cheaper compare to KL. I can still buy kuih muih with the price of RM1. I love the bengkang and talam. It tasted so original and yummy.

My bro’s friend Buchu, sell a chrysanthemum drinks. He has been selling the drinks for so many years. This year I guess it’s a lucky year for him. It surprised him too as the respond was tremendous. There was a long queue when we arrived which at that time was 4.30pm.

Though bees were found flying around near them and some jumped into the drink container, still… they queue up for it. Makan punya pasal… My bro menyebukkan diri helping him. We bought quite lots of kuih, cucur udang and otak2.

Today the iftar was the special one too as I get to eat together with my parents and brothers. Aunty cooked her killer dish – sup tulang which everyone loves it..including hubby J. Seronok makan beramai-ramai.

I am also so happy to see my dad has fully recovered except he has lost his weight. He looks so skinny that I felt like crying the moment I saw him. Apart from that, Alhamdullilah he is in a good health and happy to have children and grandchildren around.

The Raya Spirit

Hari raya is just around the corner and I more or less have made the preparation. Not really much though, it is just buying new clothes for the children. Actually I only start this year introducing this ‘baju raya’ concept to my little kids. The previous years it was only baju kurung and baju melayu.

This year I added a few outing clothes and shoes. Nabila and Hakeem asked me why did I buy those clothes, kept and didn’t allow them to wear. I told them these clothes can only be wearing during raya. They were curious and I have to explain to them that raya is a special day and everybody will wear nice clean clothes.

I still remember when I was small, I was very excited when it comes to raya. My parents will buy for me a few pair of clothes and shoes. I will lay down the new clothes on the bed. The next morning I was the proud one bergaya with those new clothes.

Nowadays my children got new clothes almost every month. Seriously I spoiled them and that was why they couldn’t get the idea of having this ‘baju raya’ concept. This year also the year they started fasting. This part, I could see that they just couldn’t wait for raya so that they can eat. Beside that raya means they will be getting duit raya. Part ni they are excited. They are looking forward to balik kampung to meet their grandfather and cousins.

Sadly this year hubby is not coming back to celebrate raya with us. This is my first time actually celebrating raya apart from him. Well.. I just don’t want to talk about it yet but I am certainly very sad and sad. When I hear the raya song on the radio, my God.. lagi lah emo…

I am going back to Kedah tomorrow morning. It's a long journey and I hope the traffic is good and smooth.

Tidur Malamku Lena Kembali...

Finally I can have a comfort sleep at night and wake up in the morning without to worry about my kek lapis. Yesterday was the last day for me and my assistant spent time in front of the oven baking cakes. I still have a few batches for delivery but thank God I am so relief that I managed to bake n deliver on time.

This year was quite tough for me. First of all hubby was not around to assist me. This is actually my 2^nd year started doing this small home base kek lapis business. Last year he helped me to send kids to school and also made deliveries. I just stay at home concentrating on baking and cooking.

This year I was like lipas kudung running here and there breathless. In the morning after sahur started baking then sent kids to school, came back continued and at the same time cooked for iftar. In the afternoon fetched them back from school then continued baking. It was like that my routine every day until yesterday.

God.. I sometimes broke down and felt like to cry. I asked myself, is this all what I want? Dah ah mula emo lepas tu.. *sob sob*.. At night the moment I put head on my pillow, I just dozed off tiredly. But then.. when comes to the end, all the effort and sweat were really worth it. The order this year was not as many like last year but it is still good and I am happy. I didn’t do lots of promotions or advertise anywhere.

Mostly ordered were from my regular and from mouth to mouth. I guess I am just not ready to go all out because I still believe and want people to eat my kek lapis and feel like it’s a homemade cake. Not like the one you could just buy anywhere in the shopping area or pasar malam.

I could never do all these alone of course and therefore I would like to thank especially hubby who always support me dari jauh. To my maid, daughters, cousins, relatives, SIL, MIL and friends that always have faith on me. Thank you again and now bole focus nak raya pulak!!

41

Hey.. I am 41 years old today! Yeah.. it’s my birthday! Happy birthday to me.. Syukur.. syukur.. my gratitude to Allah SWT, I am still be able to smell the air. 41 is a big number. I’ve been thru lots of experience in my life – some were happiness and some were something that I don’t want to remember at all.

But hey… I am happy with my life now. I have a caring husband with lovely children, relatives and friends that always care about me. I got lots of birthday wishes today especially from hubby, daughters, son, brothers, cousins and friends. Thank you so much and I love you all. Birthday present ? – yet to come… :)

Last night my daughter wanted to bake me a cake. Politely I said, its ok.. you don’t to have to do it.. which actually I didn’t want them to mess-up the kitchen. They felt bad as there is no celebration for my birthday. They haven’t bought me a card and present yet as hubby is not around to bring them out.

So tomorrow I will bring them out to buy me present (I loike this part) and treat them dinner. This morning I made a quick trip to Malacca visiting my MIL. No time to cook for break fast and I plan to tapau.

So that’s all.. no flowers for me today .. warggghhhh.. just a quiet simple ‘party’. Nevertheless I am so thankful to Allah. I pray that Allah will give me a good health, long life, prosperous and my life journey years ahead will be fulfilled with colorful and happiness.

"One year older doesn't mean that you are getting old but you are actually a year beautifully matured."

Happy 53rd Merdeka Day

Happy Merdeka to everybody. It’s a holiday and I didn’t go out anywhere as I am fully occupied with my baking. Furthermore its fasting month and the children just prefer to stay at home. Last night after came back from school, Nabila was asking about Merdeka and what was it all about. She seems to be interested in this as I believed she was talking about it at school.

She asked whether I could bring her to see the Merdeka parade as she never seen it before. Well.. me too, I never been to any parade and I would probably did not want to especially at my age now! I told her maybe one day we could go there together with her daddy. So this morning I asked her to watch the parade showed life on TV. She was very keen and interested watching it. I watched it too and it was an awesome event.

This year we celebrate our 53 years of being independence. God.. I am proud to be Malaysian. We live with different cultures and lifestyles but still happily under one roof. Though there are bunch of ungrateful groups out there who still trying to memporak peranda each other, but still lots of people unite for the harmony and peaceful of our country.

No matter what shortcomings we faced in our country, be proud of being a Malaysian. Trust me.. when you introduce yourself as Malaysian to the outside world, they will look up high on you as being Malaysian.

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! 1 Malaysia Menjana Transformasi.

I Hate You But I Need You

This afternoon while I was stuck in the traffic as usual rodek2 my phone, I noticed that my phone suddenly couldn’t be used. I couldn’t log in to my YM and my BBM was not functioning. I called Maxis hotline and I got a message “Sorry.. your line has been interrupted at the moment. Please pay the outstanding bill” – lebih kurang mcm tu lah bunyi nya..

I was shocked to hear that as far as I am concern my husband makes an auto debit monthly payment from his credit card. Damn.. I wanted to call him to check out but I don’t have any other phone with me. I have no clue at all why this happen. Berdetik gak dlm hati.. kut2 takde duit dlm bank suami aku!!

Well.. I just have to be patient I told myself. Wait till I get back home and check on this. Once home, I quickly buzz hubby but he was not available to answer me. I then called Maxis Call Centre. I told the staff that my phone line has been suspended. I told him too that my husband makes an auto debit payment using credit card and all this while we have no problem with this.

After given my details and checked by him, he told me that there is a problem with HSBC as my husband is using HSBC credit card. I asked “what do u mean by problem? Is it my husband’s credit card or what?” He replied that Maxis is having problems with HSBC regarding master card/visa card holder.

I said “So.. we customer jadi mangsa ke? We are the good paymaster. If Maxis has problem with the bank, we customer shouldn’t have to know and being affected. I said again “I want my line back as it is not fair to me as a customer to receive this kind of service as this is definitely not my fault”

After checked with the supervisor, he came back to me said sorry and will activate the line back in 2 hours. I said “What… 2 hours… that is so long” Maybe the staff takut kut I buat bising.. he quickly said “ok.. I have activated your line now and you can use it now” He asked me to reboot my phone and waaallaaa.. I got my ‘life’ back.. Huh.. bole pun.. nak kena tunggu 2 jam pulak.. bukan tak bayar bill.. bukan salah kita..

Of course after that I am so happy to be ‘connected’ back but the damaged that Maxis had done to me for almost 4 hours – miserable and disoriented!