Cancer?

Cancer? I am so allergic and sensitive to this 'word'..  It always remind me of my mom, my aunty and uncles who were all passed away because of cancer. Whenever I hear people that I know is currently suffering cancer, it is like hearing a door bell in my house - I open the door and wait for the person to say "Yes.. it is your turn now.. "

Yesterday I received news about my friend, my childhood friend that I knew since we were probably seven years old. She is now fighting with stage 4 of lung cancer.

Oh dear.. My hand was trembling when reading the message. My heart beat started pounding faster and faster. Her face immediately appeared on my mind, playing all the memories that we have had together. Her parents are very close to my parents. We would have a family meet-up almost every weekend. Besides seeing her at the school, we also got to see and play together on every weekend.

I feel sorry for her. I can feel her sorrow and pain. The last time I met her was two years ago. She was sound and healthy. It was great to see her and her mom back after 30 years we were not in contact. They moved to another place and we were not contacted each other since that day except my parents who were continuously visiting her mom until the day my mom passed away.

I always joke around with my cousin - "If we were to hear any one of us is having cancer, don't be surprised as it is runs in our blood. Both of our moms died because of cancer so we just have to be prepared and accept it if we were to get it too."

Well it is not like I've declared that I've lost the battle but it is better to always be scared and alert myself about this. I will do my very best to avoid cancer like doing yearly medical check-up, practise a healthy lifestyle and diet. But still.. if it is already written by Allah that I will get it, nothing can stop it.

To my dear friend Zaza.. I will always pray for you. May Allah give you strength to face all this, ease your pain and sorrow.

I too pray that I, my brothers, my cousins and my children will always be given a good health and may Allah avoid us from having cancer.

New Addiction

I dont remember when it starts but I think since I retired from my career and be the domestic homemaker - that was the time I've glued myself in front of the TV watching movies and serial episodes of telenovela.

Back in Malaysia we have various kinds of TV shows, from local to the international like Philippine, Thailand, Korea, Mexico, India or Indonesia. Oh.. I love watching all of them! 

I still remember there was at one particular time the serial episodes of "Mistress Harmanes" (I hope I got the correct spelling) which was so famous that almost everybody watched and talked about it. My late mom was a big fan of this TV show.

Though she was sick and had to undergo the chemotherapy treatment, she never forget to watch or asked us to update her on the missed episodes. There was at one time when she was in the ambulance, suddenly she asked me "what is the time now?" I said "it is 4.30pm" She replied "Owh no.. I've missed today's episode of Mistress Harmanes" That was my mom.. when I was worried that she has to be rushed to the hospital, with the loud ambulance sirens around us plus the ambulance driver who drove like the F1 formula car.. all she could ask was about this "Mistress Harmanes"... 

Now when I am in Oman, I am still continue watching series of TV shows. Before all of these online movie technology exist, I love to watch English episodes like Friends, Gillmore Girls and few more. After a while I moved to the Turki TV show. They have many great shows and the famous one right now is "Harem Al Sultan". I've started watching it from Season 1 and currently they are showing Season 3 right now. This show is a phenomena in the Middle East. Almost everybody are talking about this. I am too addicted to this series. 

I also do not want to be left out watching Malaysia movies or TV shows. Thank God that I can watch online. A few months back there were many online site provides link for the Malay TV show. Unfortunately it is now is banned by the Government of Oman. Huh.. in Oman here.. almost everything are banned and not allowed to be connected here. 

I am still lucky though because I still have tonton.com.my. This site is like my personal TV. I could watch movies, TV show while cooking or ironing clothes. Cool ah.. Owh.. how I love my life now! Hahahaahahha..

My latest addiction now is the Philipine show as there are no Malay series show that are currently nice to watch. Everyday my kids will listen to the tagalog conversation whenever I turn on the show. I guess.. in a few weeks time all of us can speak tagalog!

Well.. excuse me yeah.. I have more series to catch up!

From The Eyes Of My Little Caliphs - The Spiritual Journey (Part 2)

While walking towards the Masjidil Haram, I told Nabila that we would pray at the ground floor. We will find a spot that we could see Kaabah. We arrived an hour earlier before the Fajar prayer but the place was already crowded with people. As the women’s prayer area were quite limited at the ground floor, it was quite difficult to find the spot that we wanted. We walked from one area to another until we found one.

It was not the spot as we wished but Alhamdullilah at least we got a space to pray. While sitting down reading Quran waiting for the prayer to start, Nabila was being asked by a lady to get up from her spot. Nabila’s face immediately turned red almost crying looking at me. I told her to stay put and not to move at all. We couldn’t understand what the lady was talking but she was standing near us busying shooing Nabila with her hands. I told her NO and please go and find another spot. Luckily the lady in front of us too told the lady to go away and she finally went away.

After awhile I noticed that Nabila was very quiet. She just kept her head down holding her tears. I asked her why and she said she didn’t want to pray here and wanted to find another spot. I told her that it was about the prayer time and if we were to get up we could never have enough time finding another spot.

She started crying and insisted me to find another spot. I started getting angry with her that I just had to raise my voice to make her calm down. Oh dear.. this whole scenario was not a pleasant moments at all at this particular time but I just have no choice and of course I felt guilty doing it.

During the Dzohor prayer, I brought Nabila to pray on the first floor. The area was less crowded. It is an open space and we got more air and less stuffy and of course Nabila loved this first floor area.

She said sorry to me for the situation that happened in the morning. She told me that the people at the ground floor were unkind compare to the first floor. She couldn’t understand why the people have to step on the prayer mat and sometimes just walked over people who were praying. People sometimes shove her head or walk over others or Quran which actually they know all of that were wrong.

Besides all of that, Nabila was also curious about the way some people praying.

Nabila told me “This is not the way how I learn Mommy.. “

I hugged her and said “You know.. in this world.. there are many kind of people and Muslims from different kinds of places. Their ways of life, cultures, acts or habits might not be the same as us. I agreed with you like pushing or hurting people are the wrong doing thing, which I also couldn’t explain why they were acting like that. As for the way of their praying, it is not we to judge whether it is wrong or right. You do and practice what you have learned. Despite all of this what I want you to know and learn that all of us here are Muslims and all of us here believe in the same God who is Allah and Muhammad Rasullulah is the messenger of Allah. Always believe in that.”

This peaceful and kind area of first floor as Nabila always called has been her favourite spot. She even managed to finish her Muqadam and started reading Quran. Nabila and Hakeem also love to drink zam zam water. They said that the water was the most tasteful water that they had ever drink.

Alhamdullilah and I thank Allah so much for letting my children to experience this blissful journey. It open up their eyes and heart and what most important is this spiritual journey of Umrah is not going to be the last for them. As excited as I am.. they too are looking forward to come back again to Mecca and Madinah. Insyaalah..

Mecca: 6-10June 2013

Madinah: 10-13June 2013

From The Eyes Of My Little Caliphs - The Spiritual Journey (Part 1)

Nabila: Mommy… I feel that Islam is the true religion. I can understand Islam more now.
Me: What make you say that?
Nabila: It is because there are so many people coming here to pray and everyone wants to do it without being forced to.

That was a part of my conversation with my daughter Nabila while we were performing Umrah recently. Four days in Mecca and four days in Madinah had been a tremendous journey for my family. This was not our first time here but the recent trip was more meaningful to Nabila and Hakeem as they are now can understand better the whole concept of the journey.

An “in-house training” was given to my children before the day. There were lots of Q&A sessions from them especially on the ritual part. Alhamdullilah they processed everything that was taught to them well. Though there aren't any Islamic classes at their school, with the lessons and books that we teach them at home, I am blessed that they learned very well.

We arrived at Jeddah in the afternoon and started performing our Umrah after the Asar prayer. As we were walking towards the Kaabah, I looked at Nabila and said “Look.. there is the Kaabah. You always see on TV or books and now it is in front of you” I could see her face was blooming, smiling and she just kept staring at the Kaabah. I held her hand tightly walking towards the Hajarul Aswad to start our Tawaf.

The Tawaf area was quite packed and crowded as it was weekend, Israk Mikraj day and some part of the area was under renovations too. The weather was quite hot and Nabila’s face was red and sweating. At that point I prayed to Allah to give the strength and patience to my children to continue finishing the Tawaf.  We then continued for our Sa’ie ritual and finish our Umrah just right after Maghrib prayer to start

When we were back at the hotel Nabila and Hakeem started shooting lots of questions of what were happening during the Umrah.

“Are you allowed to talk on the phone during tawaf as I know you can’t do that”

“Why do people drink during tawaf?”

“Why do people keep pushing you during tawaf and why do they sometimes being rough to each other”

“Why are there some people read their doa loudly as it was actually disturbing others”

….and more.. more questions..

I was actually pleased and blessed to hear those questions as it showed that they were actually interestingly look, learn and grasp the ritual and surrounding. I could actually see Nabila's face that sometimes almost crying and gave up when being squashed between crowds. I, Nabila and Nurul were already separated with Hubby and Hakeem during our third round of tawaf. Nabila was worried at first but I told her to just continued walking as I will be with her. I know that she was a bit shocked and didn't expect to see all of these.

Alhamdullilah after all the details explanations to all their curiosity, they were happy and looking forward for the next day to come.  I pray to Allah to always protect and bless my children.

Mecca: 6-10June 2013

Ramadhan Kareem

Probably it is not too late for me to wish everybody Ramadhan Kareem.

Today is the fourth day of Ramadhan here in Oman. I was really looking forward for the Ramadhan to come this year. I don’t know why.. perhaps because I am now getting old or maybe I have realize that this holy month itself is so meaningful to all Muslims especially me.

Nabila and Hakeem who have started fasting full for the whole month last year continue to do it so this year. Thank God that the Ramadhan falls during the school summer holidays. They just stay at home during the day time and went out for Tarawikh and supper at night time.

Nabila told me after her Iftar on the first day – “I feel that Ramadhan is a special month because I got to enjoy my meal better than the other days. I stay hunger for 15 hours and get to eat after that which is so meaningful. Now I know how does it feels not to have food and I learn to appreciate more what I have in my life”

It is true indeed what Nabila said and I was proud to hear that. I have been taught from small to understand what fasting all about. It is just not about prohibited yourself from consuming foods but also to make good deeds and earn “pahala” as much as you can.

I admit that I have always overlooked and neglected on the second part which is earn “pahala” as much as you can but I pray and hope that year by year I will improve myself to do better in Ramadhan.

Again, Ramadhan is also the month of me experimenting with the new menu on the table. Beside the main dish I always love to try out our traditional kuih muih and fulfilling whatever requested foods by family.

Ramadhan Kareem to all of you and May Allah bless us with good health, prosperity and accept our prayers.

I Am Back!

It has been awhile since my last posting. So many things happened that I wanted to share in my precious blog here.

First of all I just moved to a new place, new home. After two years of staying at our previous home, we decided to find a house that was nearer to my children’s school. I am glad that we found one that is just a walking distance to the school. We just got the Internet installed yesterday and YES! I am feeling alive again.

Three days after the event of the cooking contest, I went to perform Umrah with my family for a week. It was a blissful journey as this time my two little kiddos who are now big enough to understand appreciated more of this spiritual journey. Though we went during this heat summer weather but Alhamdullilah everything went well.

After the Umrah, we started our house hunting. We went looking at a few houses and finally ended up at our beautiful home now.

Ramadhan just started two days ago and I will be busy again in my kitchen. Till then and wait for my new updates soon ya…